Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
It is argued that a new law that indicates reducing the
work
hours
has been set in some countries. I believe that the popularity of burnout around the world is the main reason for this
issue. And it's totally a positive development.
Nowadays, many people suffer from long working hours
which can lead to many negative results, not only regarding physical health
but also
mental health
. The most common illness in 2024 is burnout among workers, this
is explain
Change the verb form
explains
that
there is a huge decrease Correct word choice
why
of
Change preposition
in
motiviation
and lack of energy Correct your spelling
motivation
between
Change preposition
among
soceity
members. Correct your spelling
society
This
is to say, that many employees show a
poor performance and late Correct article usage
apply
attendence
which Correct your spelling
attendance
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
companies
goals. Fix the agreement mistake
company
For example
, in KSA bank workers quit their jobs in a very short period of time because of the long work
hours
and the pressure they are facing.
Limiting working time for employees is a positive step that will lead to a
great consequences. Working with Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
very
flexible schedule will make the worker enjoy a sense of freedom and will increase their performance. Add an article
a very
This
is mean
that the worker will have Wrong verb form
means
work-life
balance which is a very important factor in reducing stress. Add an article
a work-life
In addition
to that, they will enjoy the rest of their day doing sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
activites
or resting and Correct your spelling
activities
this
is
will impact positively Unnecessary verb
apply
on
their Change preposition
apply
health
. For example
, a recent study shows that 65% of people are unaware of the importance of living a balanced lifestyle and this
can prove the helath
issues Correct your spelling
health
relted
to Correct your spelling
related
work
.
To conclude
, I believe that limiting work
hours
is a great choise
in order to reduce burnout and any type of Correct your spelling
choice
health
issue.Submitted by noufxmut on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses both parts of the question, discussing why the law was introduced and evaluating its impact.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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