In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is universally acknowledged that
due to
the
medical development, the life span has increased. Recently, it has sparked controversy whether increasing Correct article usage
apply
in
the Change preposition
apply
population
of the elderly is beneficial. This
essay will discuss the pros and cons and reveal my orientation towards this
statement.
In terms of its benefits, it is undeniable that aged people are the most experienced individuals in various aspects in
a community. To put it differently, Change preposition
of
due to
their proffesional
background in different careers, the old Correct your spelling
professional
population
can play a critical role in their society through sharing their practical ideas and notions. Consequently
, participating them
in different careers definitely prevents Correct pronoun usage
apply
from
numerous mistakes, Change preposition
apply
in
which Change preposition
apply
naives
will undergo. Correct your spelling
natives
For example
, in Iran, transportation industries, particularly trains, employ experts, which are the oldest, to teach the novids how to drive a train.
Conversely
, the aged population
commonly encounter plenty of challenges, especially health challenges. Due to
the fact that they are old, their bodies spontaneously suffer from numerous sores, such
as backache, kneeache
and cardiovascular Correct your spelling
knee ache
desease
. Correct your spelling
disease
Hence
, their treatment process requires a huge capital to spend on them to combat with
the diseases. Change preposition
apply
In addition
, it is scientifically proven that the possibility of encountering new diseases is extremely high for the aged population
. Thus
, governments should significantly consider their statues
. Correct your spelling
statutes
For example
, the pandemic jeopardized the eldely
more than other people and Correct your spelling
elderly
governements
provide a myriad of medicines for them.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are numerous diseases which jeopardize people's health, but the Correct your spelling
governments
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
is far more likely to face these challenges. However
, they are the only rich sources of professions
who can assist in diverse careers. I believe that the elderly's issues should be taken into account by authorities Replace the word
professionals
due to
their experience.Submitted by TUTOO on
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language
Try to reduce small language inaccuracies such as spelling errors ('proffesional', 'naives', 'novids') and typos ('eldely', 'desease'). However, these do not significantly detract from your overall response, but improving them could enhance clarity.
coherence
Ensure clear topic sentences in each paragraph for improved logical structure and signposting of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more statistical data or studies to reinforce examples and key points, thereby increasing the impact and reliability of your arguments.
coherence
Your essay maintains a strong argumentative structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, allowing readers to follow your thought process.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples, such as the transportation industries in Iran, to support your points, which adds depth and credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents the examination of both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.
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