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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and the amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graphs illustrate the trends in the variations in ownership of washing machines,
refrigerators
Use synonyms
, and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaners
Use synonyms
 and the number of times for housework in a certain nation from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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Correct article usage
a rises
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rises
Fix the agreement mistake
rise
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 using three electrical appliances during the entire period.
Refrigerators
Use synonyms
 showed a significant increase among them, and there was a decrease in the number of hours spent washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning. In the first data, washing machines,
refrigerators
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, and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaners
Use synonyms
 started with 40%, 30%, and 0% in 1920, respectively. In the first 40 years, the possession of
refrigerators
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 rocketed to 90% in 1960
while
Linking Words
 the others showed a gradual growth. The percentage of
refrigerators
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 was consistently the highest from 1960, with 90%,
however
Linking Words
, that of
vacuum
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cleaners
Use synonyms
 caught it with 100% in 2000. Both
refrigerators
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 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaners
Use synonyms
 were the highest after 2000. In the second graph, there was a downward trend. In 1920, the number of hours for washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning was 50.
However
Linking Words
, it declined dramatically from 50 to 20, in 1920 and 1960, respectively. After 1960, it showed a gradual decrease during the entire period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words refrigerators, vacuum, cleaners with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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