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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?

#students #study #university #college #school
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Nowadays, many
students
 think that studying in
university
 or college is more difficult than in primary
school
,
middle
school
 and high
school
. I think there are several reasons for
this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
.
And
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
 problem is easy to solve. The first reason is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the study
content
 between
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
.
Student'
Fix the agreement mistake
Students'
show examples
 s
courses
 in primary and
middle
 schools are all
very
Add an article
the very
show examples
 simple and basic knowledge.
For example
, in
middle
school
 maths, I learned some polynomial
calculate
Replace the word
calculations
show examples
 and some simple application questions. In high
school
, the
content
 is on the basis of
middle
school
, more difficulties and more
courses
 would be set up,
such
 as chemistry and physics.
However
, there will be more difficult applications and research studies in universities.The second point is that the teacher's teaching way is different. Teachers usually encourage and push
students
 to learn at
school
. There are many rules, which can
promote
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
students
 to study hard. But in
university
, professors only teach the
content
. They don't care about the process, only care about the result. It will lead to many less self-control
students
 not
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 hard and cannot be able to get credits and graduate successfully.
However
, there are some methods to solve these difficulties. As the Internet becomes more and more developed, there are more ways for people to get knowledge. If
students
 think the
content
 of
university
courses
 is difficult, they can learn through some websites,
such
 as the Chinese website
bilibili
Change the capitalization
Bilibili
show examples
,
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
 can find a lot of course explanations
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In
university
, there are not so many rules, so if
students
 don't know what the professor says, they can ask the professor or classmates directly in class. I believe they will answer.
Although
 the
university
courses
 are very difficult, and the professor is not as good as the teacher. I believe by using these methods,
students
 can graduate successfully from
university
 or college and have a good experience.In the future, science and technology will be more developed, it will bring more help to
university
students
.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments in order to strengthen the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical progression of ideas is maintained throughout your essay to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words or phrases more effectively to connect different parts of your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a structured framework.
task achievement
The argument is addressed effectively, and you provide reasons and basic solutions to the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a good attempt to organize the essay into paragraphs, each dealing with different aspects of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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