Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of prison sentences. Others argue that there are more effective ways to reduce crime, such as rehabilitation programs and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

#people #crime #length #prison #sentences #rehabilitation #programs #education

There has been contentious debate on effective ways to minimize criminal activities.

Although

rehabilitation and education could be beneficial for non-intentional

crimes

, I always believe that

extended

Correct article usage

an extended

show examples

prison sentence is crucial for intensive

crimes

. It is undoubtedly significant to provide emotional support to the offenders by putting them into rehab centres.

Whereas these

Correct word choice

These

show examples

places could provide sheer benefit to the perpetrators who got involved in the activities because of self-defence and unintentional manner. An example is a

school boy

Correct your spelling

schoolboy

show examples

got

Correct pronoun usage

who got

show examples

killed by

a women

Correct the article-noun agreement

women

a woman

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

her car in Melbourne

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

weeks ago. I believe that for cases like

this

rehabilitation and

encouraging

Replace the word

encouragement

show examples

to study during the sanctioned years could be helpful,

however

may not impact on number of

crimes

Nevertheless

, for serious deliberate

crimes

extended or life sentences is mandatory.

For example

, in India, there is not any strict punishment implied by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

for

rapist

Fix the agreement mistake

rapists

show examples

, which is a cause of increasing numbers of relevant cases.

Thus

, I strongly believe in order to avoid these harmful activities stricter and longer sentences

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

to be implemented. So that, one would think twice before indulging in causing harm to anyone. In conclusion,

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

longer sentences and educational programs both can contribute

Change preposition

show examples

reducing crime, I strongly believe it should depend on the density of crime.

Submitted by navsukhrai5319 on Mon Nov 04 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Expand on the introduction by clearly outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay to guide the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use clear topic sentences to tell the reader about the focus of each paragraph. This will enhance cohesion between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Provide more detailed explanations and analysis of the examples to make the arguments more convincing.

Task Achievement

Include a broader range of relevant examples to make points more compelling, particularly discussing rehabilitation strategies.

Task Achievement

The essay presents both views on the topic, showcasing a balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is an introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the essay clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main argument of the essay, providing a definitive stance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

212 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of prison sentences. Others argue that there are more effective ways to reduce crime, such as rehabilitation programs and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In today's world, technological devices are very common among students and they can be used for learning purposes in order to enhance their academic performance.

More and more plastic is polluting the city, countryside and ocean. What are the problems caused by plastic waste? What measures should be taken to solve these problems?

In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

Primary education is said to have profound effects on the quality of secondary and tertiary education, so governments often try to take steps in order to enhance primary education in their countries. What, from your point of view, should be done to improve the quality of primary schools?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?