Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of prison sentences. Others argue that there are more effective ways to reduce crime, such as rehabilitation programs and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

#people #crime #length #prison #sentences #rehabilitation #programs #education

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There has been contentious debate on effective ways to minimize criminal activities.

Although

Linking Words

rehabilitation and education could be beneficial for non-intentional

crimes

Use synonyms

, I always believe that

extended

Correct article usage

an extended

show examples

prison sentence is crucial for intensive

crimes

Use synonyms

. It is undoubtedly significant to provide emotional support to the offenders by putting them into rehab centres.

Linking Words

Whereas these

Correct word choice

These

show examples

places could provide sheer benefit to the perpetrators who got involved in the activities because of self-defence and unintentional manner. An example is a

school boy

Correct your spelling

schoolboy

show examples

got

Correct pronoun usage

who got

show examples

killed by

a women

Correct the article-noun agreement

women

a woman

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

her car in Melbourne

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

weeks ago. I believe that for cases like

this

Linking Words

rehabilitation and

encouraging

Replace the word

encouragement

show examples

to study during the sanctioned years could be helpful,

however

Linking Words

may not impact on number of

crimes

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, for serious deliberate

crimes

Use synonyms

extended or life sentences is mandatory.

For example

Linking Words

, in India, there is not any strict punishment implied by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

for

rapist

Fix the agreement mistake

rapists

show examples

, which is a cause of increasing numbers of relevant cases.

Thus

Linking Words

, I strongly believe in order to avoid these harmful activities stricter and longer sentences

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

to be implemented. So that, one would think twice before indulging in causing harm to anyone. In conclusion,

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

longer sentences and educational programs both can contribute

Change preposition

show examples

reducing crime, I strongly believe it should depend on the density of crime.

Submitted by navsukhrai5319 on Mon Nov 04 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Expand on the introduction by clearly outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay to guide the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use clear topic sentences to tell the reader about the focus of each paragraph. This will enhance cohesion between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Provide more detailed explanations and analysis of the examples to make the arguments more convincing.

Task Achievement

Include a broader range of relevant examples to make points more compelling, particularly discussing rehabilitation strategies.

Task Achievement

The essay presents both views on the topic, showcasing a balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is an introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the essay clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main argument of the essay, providing a definitive stance.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

212 words

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Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of prison sentences. Others argue that there are more effective ways to reduce crime, such as rehabilitation programs and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Word Count

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive development or negative development?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some sports are dangerous, but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Some people think that competition at work, at school an in daily life is a good thing. Other believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

-Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste.