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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students today graduate high school and want to continue their studies abroad. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying overseas.

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Studying abroad after graduating is a very common choice for plenty of
people
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. Discussing the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 topic will be more useful and helpful for
students
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 who have graduated
now
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apply
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. Nowadays, several
people
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 prefer to continue their studies abroad for many positive reasons.
First,
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students
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 are searching to improve their languages. They will have international experiences.
Also
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,
students
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 will develop important skills
such
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 as independence and responsibility.
Second,
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students
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 will gain a high quality of education. Multiple
students
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 increase their intelligence when they studied aboard.
For example
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, after twelve years of studying English, my language hadn't improved until I went to Manchester to study English
just for
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for just
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 five months.
Finally
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, studying abroad helps
people
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 to have more knowledge about new cultures.
Also
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, meeting
people
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 from many different countries and having a lot of conversations.
Students
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 will gain mysterious information and traditions around the world.
However
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages.
First,
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studying abroad includes many responsibilities
on
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for
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 the
students
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, even though they don’t know about it when they live with their families. They should take care of every single thing ,
such
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 as cleaning, washing and food preparation.
Second,
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the high cost of living alone.
Students
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 must create a budget and maintain good control over it.
Also
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, they should save some money for any unusual thing that could happen.
Finally
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,
students
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 mostly faced some challenges
while
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 they studied abroad. Some
students
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 feel homesick and miss their families and friends.
Also
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, adapting to a new culture could be more challenging,especially during the first few months. In conclusion, studying abroad has both positive and negative sides.
Although
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 it can be expensive and challenging, it gives
students
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 a better educationand valuable life experience.

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task response
Score: 6. Add more detail to each main point. For example, say how a better school or new culture can help a student in work or life.
task response
Some ideas are too general. “Students will gain mysterious information” is not clear. Say what they learn, such as food, family life, or ways of work in other countries.
task response
Keep the same focus. The first line says “studying abroad after graduating”, but “after high school” is clearer and closer to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Put each idea in a full sentence. For example, change “Also, meeting people from many different countries and having a lot of conversations” to “They can meet people from many countries and talk with them.”
coherence and cohesion
Use links with care. You use “Also” many times. Try “For this reason”, “As a result”, or “In addition” when they fit.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end a little stronger. Say your main view, for example: “In my view, the good points are greater if students plan their money and get help when they feel sad.”
coherence and cohesion
Check spaces and full stops. For example, write “challenging, especially” and “education and valuable”. This will make the writing easier to read.
task response
You answer both parts: good points and bad points of study abroad. Your ideas are on topic.
task response
You give a clear real-life example about learning English in Manchester. This makes your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. The reader can follow it easily.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple order words such as “First”, “Second”, “Finally”, and “However”. These help show the plan of the essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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