Some people think governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more
people
Use synonyms
are inflicted by mental illness and mounting
pressure
Use synonyms
because of a variety of social
problems
Use synonyms
. Facing the phenomenon, some
people
Use synonyms
tender their opinion that governments should focus on alleviating housing prices and environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
, which are the root causes of illness and diseases. Personally,
while
Linking Words
solving these
problems
Use synonyms
will offer great relief to
people
Use synonyms
, more things should be done to ensure the
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the housing problem is the primary source of financial
pressure
Use synonyms
for
people
Use synonyms
across all age groups. Youngsters are pestered by the hefty price of affording the houses that are the harbour for families; the elderly
also
Linking Words
find it hard to be financially free before repaying all mortgages and saving enough for retirement. Let alone that the housing price is just one of the many
problems
Use synonyms
an adult
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to consider, other
problems
Use synonyms
like raising
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
and paying
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy bills are
also
Linking Words
pressing and inevitable. Juggling these
problems
Use synonyms
and facing the
pressure
Use synonyms
can yield
people
Use synonyms
to many health issues
such
Linking Words
as depression and diseases.More importantly, the environment today is polluted heavily, industrial waste and other human activities pose risks to the ecosystem,
in
Correct pronoun usage
which in
show examples
turn directly
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
humans.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
Use synonyms
increases the possibility of contracting lung cancer and respiratory diseases. Having said the impacts of these two
problems
Use synonyms
, it can be
deducted
Correct your spelling
deduced
show examples
that reducing the housing price and
pollution
Use synonyms
will lift much
pressure
Use synonyms
from
people
Use synonyms
’s shoulders. Another reason for the government should focus on housing and environmental
problems
Use synonyms
is that these
problems
Use synonyms
have long-term effects if we ignore them. The financial burdens on
people
Use synonyms
prevent them from having children, and
pollution
Use synonyms
will subject the younger generation to sub-healthy conditions. The decrease in birth
rate
Use synonyms
and less healthy population will result in more social issues and complaints. Even though there are many
problems
Use synonyms
other than housing and
pollution
Use synonyms
hanging in the air, the governments should set foot in these two
problems
Use synonyms
as they are the most urgent and noticeable among all.
However
Linking Words
, it should be noticed that other
problems
Use synonyms
, like high crime
rate
Use synonyms
and inequality of education,
also
Linking Words
concern
people
Use synonyms
. Without lowering the crime
rate
Use synonyms
, residents feel insecure living in the countries and spend large amounts of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
security services and facilities, which the money can be better used. Inequal access to education will solidify the social castes and unsatisfied
people
Use synonyms
can march and complain.
In addition
Linking Words
, economic growth will be stifled
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
quality of labour.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should
also
Linking Words
pay attention to other
concerning
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social issues rather than focusing on just one or two. In conclusion, housing and environmental
problems
Use synonyms
should be alleviated to free
people
Use synonyms
from the mounting
pressure
Use synonyms
, but other
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as crime
rate
Use synonyms
and
inequal
Correct your spelling
unequal
show examples
education opportunities should
also
Linking Words
be solved.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that examples are specific and relevant to illustrate points effectively. For instance, you can elaborate more on how government initiatives in housing and pollution have succeeded in other areas or discuss statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay flows logically, try to ensure that transitions between ideas are particularly strong and clear. Use linking words and phrases more consistently to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay provides a thoughtful introduction that clearly states your perspective on the issue, aligning well with the task.
task achievement
The text logically analyzes the main issues and potential solutions, effectively supporting the statement with relevant reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely ties together your discussion points and restates your position, which enhances the coherence of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory diseases
  • heart conditions
  • incidence
  • affordable housing
  • stress
  • infectious diseases
  • preventative measures
  • cost-effective
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • comprehensive approach
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • exacerbated
What to do next:
Look at other essays: