Task 1: The diagram below shows how soft cheese is made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1: The diagram below shows how soft cheese is made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram gives information about how soft cheese is made.
Overall
, there are five steps in the
process
of making soft cheese.
At
Change the preposition
In
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the beginning, start with mixing water and milk. The following steps are cooling, fermentation, evaporation, and cooling again.
At
Change preposition
In
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the first stage, water and milk will be mixed together in the mixer,at
this
process
the thickness level of the mixture is the lowest. After that, it moves to a cooling
process
, at 5 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
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and will
last
for 2
hours
.When the first cooling
process
is finished, salt will be added before the fermentation
process
, which requires 37 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
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heating for 6
hours
. After that, the evaporation will take 8
hours
and it needs 100 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
in order to complete it, in
this
process
the thickness level of the mixture is average.
Finally
, the
last
colling step will take another 8
hours
, at 5
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
, which will release the waste water and make the cheese become soft.It can be seen that
this
process
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
20
hours
in total.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, celsius, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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