Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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The question of who can receive a scholarship from government funding has long been a topic of argument in several countries. Some believe that support should only be used for
students
who choose
subjects
which are crucial to the development of human societies.
Although
this
educational
policy
has both positive and negative effects, I am convinced that the benefits will be far away from the drawbacks because it will encourage more young
people
to choose
subjects
that may not help them get rich in the
future
but will help reduce the imbalance of the workforce in different
fields
and play an essential role in the stable development of the
society
.  First of all,
this
policy
will help to maintain the balance of the
future
workforce. There is a reality that most
students
want to choose majors that can help them have a well-paid job after graduating from a university
such
as administration, finance, or technology. Not many youngsters want to study history or geography because they will hardly find a good job in the
future
. So, if there were no financial aid from states, most
students
would apply for economic or technology majors, and
this
would cause a
lack
of lecturers in these
subjects
but unemployment in others, and there would be a redundancy of
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
in these
fields
in the
future
which would be a burden to families and
society
.
For instance
, most young
people
in Viet Nam in the early 2000s chose administration or finance as their majors and not many chose engineering,
as a consequence
, a lot of graduated
students
could not find a job and had to work in a quite different field with very low salary, which was considered a waste of time and money.
Furthermore
,
this
policy
also
plays a vital role in helping human
society
develop stably. It is because without financial support from the government, there might be very few
people
who choose those
subjects
, and there would be a
lack
of officers in some
fields
which would cause problems for human
society
. Young
people
nowadays do not tend to pay school fees to study archaeology, geography, or history, and if there were no scholarship, there would be a
lack
of experts in those
fields
in the near
future
. It is evident that in several provinces in Viet Nam, there is now a
lack
of officers in some
fields
and
that is
challenging government leaders in seeking suitable solutions to tackle
this
issue. In conclusion, despite some possible disadvantages of
this
policy
, I believe human
society
will be more beneficial from it in building a stable development.
Submitted by hoangdaosales on

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Main Points and Examples
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Task Response
Address potential counterarguments briefly to strengthen the essay further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance paragraph transitions for even smoother readability.
Introduction and Conclusion
Strong introduction and conclusion that effectively outline and summarize the essay's main argument.
Logical Structure
Clear and logical structure that guides the reader through the argument.
Relevant Examples
Relevance of examples to support the argument which illustrates real-world implications.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic efficiency
  • allocate resources
  • job market
  • unemployment
  • underemployment
  • skill gap
  • critical sectors
  • financial incentives
  • societal needs
  • potential for resentment
  • undervalued
  • academic performance
  • overspecialization
  • diversity in skills
  • cultural development
  • holistic societal growth
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