IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. In the not too distant future technology will completely replace the teachers in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree?

#technology #world #future #teachers #classroom
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Technology is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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extremely widespread
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 over nowadays. In
a
Correct article usage
the
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 foreseeable
future
Add a comma
future,
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 artificial intelligence will fully substitute the role of a teacher in the classroom .I am in complete agreement with
this
 statement and I
clarify
Wrong verb form
clarified
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 some reasons and
support
Wrong verb form
supported
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 my idea with some examples too.
Firstly
, one of the reasons why I agree with
this
 statement is AI has the same capabilities as teachers .Apart
from
Correct pronoun usage
from that
show examples
, it has got enough energy and experience to instruct students precisely.Because AI is not a human.
Subsequently
, another reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 my agreement AI has enough intelligence and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would not tire It is a positive trait when it comes to lessons that require extended periods of repetition. To exemplify an article by Uzbek Business Club in 2020 ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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revealed that the government was going to import
such
 kinds of technology.
Secondly
, there is an agreement that AI
is more
Verb problem
apply
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tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to make interest
on
Change preposition
in
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 learners and attract them every new themes in daily life.
Furthermore
, it has
got
Verb problem
apply
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a broadened mind and imagination in order to make interactive games which are related to lessons.
Thus
, people
are believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 AI has more endurance
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than human teachers. By the way of conclusion,
common
Correct article usage
the common
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 use of
such
 kinds of technology is too soft and practical for the majority of courses.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I think AI is the
last
 option when all else has failed.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
While the essay presents relevant arguments and examples about AI replacing teachers, it could benefit from a more balanced view. Acknowledging potential limitations or valuable aspects of human teachers could provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your points logically. Clearer paragraphing and transition signals between ideas can help the reader follow your argument more seamlessly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further by including more specific, detailed examples. Providing concrete instances or studies could strengthen your argument and clarify your points for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and explore this fully before moving to the next point. This will help in building a solid logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively outlines your position and sets the stage for your argument, making it clear what stance you will be supporting.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a strong conclusion summarizing your standpoint, which helps in reiterating your main points clearly to the reader.
task achievement
You raise interesting points on AI's advantages like its limitless energy and ability to maintain interest, which are clearly relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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