IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think it is better to have more short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both of views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#people #holidays #year #vacations
Some people believe that it is better to have short vacations,
whereas
 others think
otherwise
. Generally, there are some benefits and drawbacks of different types of
holidays
.
To begin
 with, I would love to admit that short
holidays
 have some crucial benefits. As for the student
such
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 vacation provides you with a great opportunity to stay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
"fit", so you might not
be forget
Change the verb form
forget
show examples
 all the study
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
.
Furthermore
, one more quite big advantage is, that you can "stretch" all your plans during the whole year,
thus
 your vacations could be very memorable. Basically, other people still have another opinion about short-term days off. It is explained with significant issues.
Firtstly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, you can't plan a long-term trip to many countries
due to
 the time limit.
Although
, you can create
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
show examples
road-map
Correct your spelling
road map
show examples
according to
 your timeframes,
but be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 in a hurry is not comfortable for
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of people.
Furthermore
, the most beneficial thing
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 long
holidays
 is an
opportunite
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 not to
cyclce
Correct your spelling
cycle
 into studying, but to spend your time doing something else. Ultimately, discussion about which vacations are better only depends on each person's mind. For
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
, it is better to have short
holidays
,
while
 another person could see only
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
this
 type of vacation.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
 for me, in spite of all the drawbacks, short-term
holidays
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more useful and comfortable.
For instance
, 3 or 4 days off can
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 refresh my mind and it is quite enough time to be ready for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
 tasks and continue
your
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
 work.
Submitted by strogiy2008 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to clarify your arguments and make your essay more engaging.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your ideas are presented in a clear and comprehensive manner. Try to expand on each idea to provide a more detailed argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
logical structure
The essay shows a logical structure with clear divisions between different points of view and your opinion.
complete response
You've addressed the task and assessed both sides of the argument, which is well done.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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