An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situations?

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The majority of individuals who work as a doctor or teacher are migrating
in
Change preposition
to

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other
countries
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rather than staying and working in their own poor nations.
In other words
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, these days, more and more
professionals
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are leaving their
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to gain more money or achieve welfare in some developed
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It is obvious that
this
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decision creates a lot of various difficulties. In
this
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essay, I will explain some of these
problems
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, and
also
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I will propose several effective solutions. One of the most significant
problems
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which are caused by
this
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choice is that
the
Correct article usage
apply

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underdeveloped
countries
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will become weaker and weaker whether economically or socially.
That is
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to say, The loss of brilliant minds, particularly doctors, through emigration leaves poorer nations facing a critical shortage of vital medical skills. Another notable issue is that juveniles may tend to imitate
professionals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and prefer to leave their own country when they accomplish their lessons so that they can progress in advanced
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Otherwise
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stated, individuals might get accustomed to leaving their country to flourish their ideas. In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case, weak
countries
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lose a lot of scholars. So, what should be done to tackle these
problems
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?
Firstly
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, the government should improve the economy.
Hence
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, people not only will be able to afford their costs
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

professionals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may be encouraged to stay in their hometowns. For
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

purpose, the government can create new jobs for youngsters and convince juveniles to work in their own
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, educational systems can raise awareness about the benefits of staying in local areas. In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation, individuals can access the valuable knowledge and skills of crucial
professionals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in developing
countries
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,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as teachers, to address specific needs.
To conclude
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, there is no doubt that nowadays, a lot of significant people are leaving their
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Whilst,
this
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choice can cause some serious
problems
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,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as creating
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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weaker society and imitating
young
Correct article usage
the young

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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generation
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
professionals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I personally think, these difficulties will not be addressed unless the government create new occupations, and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

educational systems
raise
Fix the infinitive
to raise

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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people's awareness.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider enhancing the clarity of ideas in the second body paragraph. Currently, the argument about educational systems raising awareness needs further development to fully communicate its effectiveness.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate some of the general points, particularly in the body paragraphs. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth to maintain the flow of your argument. Some sections could benefit from clearer linking phrases.
Introduction and Conclusion Structure
The essay opens with a clear introduction that outlines the main problems and solutions that will be discussed.
Introduction and Conclusion Structure
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main issues and proposed solutions, effectively wrapping up the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully identifies key problems such as economic and social weakening of poorer countries, and the impact on the young generation, which demonstrates a good understanding of the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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