In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

In the contemporary world, many people believe working strenuously gains more achievement, which is commonly told to
children
by grown-up people. In spite of the fact that accumulating practices can escalate the experiences of
children
and improve their mental stability to a certain level,
this
mindset could lead them to forget that reaching their goal
also
requires
creativity
and critical thinking skills. On the one hand, the benefits of giving the mindset to the young generation in their early childhood are able to build up their persistence and create their resiliency. It is crucial for
children
to believe that being willing to focus on chasing a goal leads to great success,
this
belief can train their patience in doing assignments and handling tasks.
Moreover
, the process of attaining a target requires strong mental stability since they get to conquer an account of failures on the way to their aspirations.
On the other hand
,
although
working diligently is always connected with success, the potential drawbacks of delivering the idea are depriving the
creativity
and independent thoughts of youth. These are mainly
due to
the fact that most individuals are losing their
creativity
and unique thinking logic during growth by accessing social stereotypes and moral traditions unconsciously.
According to
my observation, my childhood was not under the rigorous restrictions of my parent, it turns out I showed more leading thoughts than my classmates in school and usually got higher grades than others with less effort. On balance, I believe both dimensions of
this
philosophy can co-exist in the frame of mind of
children
. For them to be capable of keeping the mental strength and perseverance, owning their
creativity
and critical thinking skills,
in addition
.
Submitted by yunhan322 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task response further, be sure to give specific examples that illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of the message to children. This can provide more depth and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to outline the main points for each paragraph. This can enhance the logical flow and support.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded view of both advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure is maintained with a clear introduction and conclusion, making the essay easy to follow.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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