Some people think that the environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. аф

Some
people
agree that environmental
solutions
should be solved on a global scale but others believe it is better to decide them nationally. If
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
would be solving
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
scale every
country
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be involved in
this
and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will help solve the problem faster, but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
it will be better for everyone to deal
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationally. I believe that every
solutions
Change to a singular noun
solution
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to
decide
Wrong verb form
be decided
show examples
in silence without any problems. First of all,
solve with
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
environmental
solutions
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationally can be easy for
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
decide
this
. It will
be take
Change the verb form
take
show examples
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
time and effort.
People
won’t have to spend their money for
this
meet and ruin their schedule.
For example
another year ago when in America happened disaster with their nature they need to solve
this
faster. So
after
this
news
Add a comma
news,
show examples
every
country
connected to
this
. So America’s president asked for help from another
country
.
Afterwards
Add a comma
Afterwards,
show examples
when
people
from
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
,
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
and Italy
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
gathered, a fire started in places where
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
show examples
conference
Correct article usage
a conference
show examples
. 40
people
were died. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
the problems have become bigger. So, I believe that if they would
be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
this
solution in their
country
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationally it would not lead
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
consequences. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
a solution
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
scale will be better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it helps
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another
country
share
Fix the infinitive
to share
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their decision
Fix the agreement mistake
its decisions
show examples
, knowledge and ideas with others. Everyone knows that it is not easy to
solve
Verb problem
make
show examples
big decisions individually always.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
the situation that happened in Africa. Many years ago in Africa was
fire
Correct article usage
a fire
show examples
disaster in every place. So to put out the fire
were sent
Wrong verb form
,
show examples
all rescuers and firefighters from different countries
who want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
to help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Africa.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it helped to save half population and nature. It helps to deal
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
problem faster. I believe that it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
decision for everyone and better to
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
solutions
. In conclusion, if you look at it from everyone’s point of view it is more
efficiently
Change the word
efficient
show examples
to deal with environmental
solutions
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationally. It will be faster, better and without any noise, but
this
is not
fact
Add an article
the fact
a fact
show examples
that
this
resolve
Change the verb form
resolves
show examples
all problems.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Your essay provides both sides of the argument, but the arguments could be elucidated with more clarity and detail to enhance understanding. Try to flesh out each viewpoint with clear points and ensure your positions are unambiguously stated.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay can be improved by organizing your points more clearly. Strive for smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to maintain a clear path for the reader.
task achievement
Some parts of the essay present relevant examples, however, make sure each example is clearly tied to the argument you are presenting, this will reinforce your points and exemplify your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion which frames your arguments within the essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes examples that attempt to strengthen your arguments, showcasing an understanding of both sides of the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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