Some say that the standard of behavior among children has worsened and that this is their parents’ fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People argue over the
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
's bad
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
between
schools
and
parents
.
This
essay is going to discuss both views on
parents
and
schools
.
Children
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
wrong as they
learned
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
from their
parents
.
Children
learn from their mom and dad as they are role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
. When their parent
act
Change the verb form
acts
show examples
rude and
disrepectly
Correct your spelling
disrespect
disrespected
,
cilldren
Correct your spelling
children
may think it is fine to behave like that,
therefore
, they act
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same as their
parents
did before.
Also
,
parents
have the
responsibility
to teach
children
how to behave in their daily life, like being polite to others,
sharing
Correct word choice
and sharing
show examples
with others.
Therefore
,
parents
play an important role in guiding
children
how to perform. If
children
react wrong,
parents
have the
responsibility
to teach and control their
kids
. It may become
parents'
Correct article usage
the parents'
show examples
fault.
On the other hand
,
schools
are
also
responsible for
children
's
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
.
Schools
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the place where
students
learn and
being
Add a missing verb
are being
show examples
taught. Activities or lessons related to conduct should
be hold
Change the verb form
be held
show examples
in school to help
students
to understand the standard of acting
properiately
Correct your spelling
appropriately
or even being a good kid. Teachers
also
needed to control and stop
students
' bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to prevent it
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
again.
Therefore
,
children
should be taught about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good conduct in
schools
. Both
parents
and
schools
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
an important role and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
However
, I think
parents
take more
responsibility
as every
kids
Change to a singular noun
kid
show examples
get
Verb problem
has
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
personality
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
parents
understand their
kids
more than the
schools
.
Therefore
, those
mum
Correct your spelling
moms
show examples
and dad should teach their
children
to behave well by using their own parenting methods to fit in their
children
.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
to the
schools
, lessons, teaching materials or activities about conduct and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
are limited and
gereral
Correct your spelling
general
,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not designed by every
kids
Change to a singular noun
kid
show examples
.
Therefore
, I think
parents
make mistakes if
children
act
inpropreate
Correct your spelling
inappropriately
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples to support your argument. This will enhance the relevance and comprehensiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Strive to present your ideas in a clearer and more systematic manner to better demonstrate coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction provides a clear context for the discussion that follows, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives on the topic, fulfilling the task requirement to discuss both views and offer your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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