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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities
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The chart data gives information about underground rail networks in six major cities. The chart compared in terms of their age, their size and the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who use them every year.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the three oldest
railroad
Use synonyms
 systems are larger and
serves
Correct subject-verb agreement
serve
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 more
people
Use synonyms
 than the newer cities. London
railroad
Use synonyms
 network is the oldest
system
Use synonyms
,
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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built in 1863. It is
also
Linking Words
 the largest
railroad
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
, with 394
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route. The second largest
system
Use synonyms
 is in Paris, it is only about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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half of London’s, with 199
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route.
However
Linking Words
, it serves more passengers every year. Tokyo’s
railroad
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is in third of them, but it serves the most
people
Use synonyms
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
show examples
 it, with 1927 million
people
Use synonyms
. Of the three newer
railroad
Use synonyms
 networks, Washington
Dc
Correct your spelling
DC
show examples
 has the largest one, with 126
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route,
while
Linking Words
 Kyoto and Los Angeles only have 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
 and 28
kilometres
Use synonyms
. Los Angeles’
railroad
Use synonyms
 is the newest
railroad
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
,
have
Verb problem
was
show examples
build
Change the verb form
built
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 in 2001.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Kyoto has the smallest
railroad
Use synonyms
 network, only
serves
Wrong verb form
serving
show examples
 4500 million passengers per year.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, railroad, system, kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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