#62. Task2: The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical apperance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #apperance #operations #change #development

There is

Correct article usage

an onging

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onging

Correct your spelling

ongoing

debate over whether cosmetic

surgery

should be

encourged

Correct your spelling

encouraged

for

people

seeking

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

better

physicial

Correct your spelling

physical

apprence

Correct your spelling

apprentice

appearance

. Some believe that a fabulous look will

build-up

Correct your spelling

build up

show examples

people

's confidence and is valuable in job hunting and

match making

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matchmaking

show examples

While

others argue that natural

aging

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ageing

show examples

is more meaningful and

Correct word choice

that peole

show examples

peole

Correct your spelling

people

should

aviod

Correct your spelling

avoid

generating fake faces that

Add a missing verb

are related

show examples

to high-tech

surgery

. In my view, cosmetic

surgery

has advantages in improving

people

's physical

apperance

Correct your spelling

appearance

and gaining confidence,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

also

has drawbacks

such

as high cost and risks in its complications. The most important

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

for

peole

Correct your spelling

people

seeking

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cosmetic

surgery

is to improve their physical look. In today's job market, many

position

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positions

show examples

such

as sales,

marketing

Correct word choice

and marketing

show examples

require

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

look. Models or

attress

Correct your spelling

address

mattress

even desire

for improving

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to improve

show examples

facial

apperance

Correct your spelling

appearance

as a

nececity

Correct your spelling

necessity

part of their work.

Moreover

people

relay

Correct your spelling

rely

show examples

surgery

to turn back to a young face. A youthful face is

charaterized

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characterised

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show examples

an even

distributed

Replace the word

distribution

show examples

of muscles,

fibers

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fibres

show examples

and fatty tissue.

Whereas

during

aging

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ageing

show examples

, the skin becomes drier, sagging and less elastic.

Therefore

, elderly

people

seek

for

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apply

show examples

cosmestic

Correct your spelling

cosmetic

surgery

to revitalize their

apperance

Correct your spelling

appearance

so as to rebuild their confidence. The increasing trend for

people

seeking

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rejuvenence

surgery

is beneficial in boosting the economy and increasing tax revenue for the government and the hospitals. As

surgery

-related procedures are usually not

coverd

Correct your spelling

covered

by insurance and are relatively

costy

Correct your spelling

costly

Therefore

, it becomes a valuable source to promote GDP growth.

In addition

, as more investment will be allocated to

aging-related

Change the spelling

ageing-related

show examples

projects and

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

, it will motivate creativity and

techological

Correct your spelling

technological

innovation. On the flip side, some opponents

Add a missing verb

are concern

show examples

concern

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

that over

reliant

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over-reliant

show examples

surgery

gives

people

fake looks. We could not enjoy the natural

aging

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ageing

show examples

elegancy as seen in

Audery

Correct your spelling

Audrey

Herphern, the iconic lady that

admire

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admires

show examples

by both the young and the old.

Moreover

, as more and more merchants

pursuing

Wrong verb form

pursue

show examples

profit from the market, many illegal operations have been carried out without proper training.

This

lead

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leads

show examples

unchangable

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unchangeable

complications

Change preposition

for

show examples

patients that harm

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as a whole. In summary, it is undeniable that

cosmatic

Correct your spelling

cosmetic

surgery

brings both economic

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

and sociological improvement

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

However

, it poses challenges in

term

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terms

show examples

maintaing

Correct your spelling

maintaining

the standard

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show examples

surgery

and reducing the complications for patients. Striking the balance between the quality of the

surgery

and the outcome of the patients is crucial to

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

people

overall

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

Submitted by fanyi0511 on Tue Nov 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to add clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of the essay.

task achievement

In some areas, the clarity of ideas can be enhanced. Ensure your argument flows logically by connecting your points more explicitly.

task achievement

More specific examples could be added to bolster some of the arguments and illustrate points more vividly.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a balanced view of the topic, considering both positive and negative aspects of cosmetic surgery.

task achievement

Your discussion includes references to societal and personal aspects, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

There is a strong introduction that clearly sets up the debate and an effective conclusion that summarizes the content well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

388 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cosmetic surgery
Appearance
Societal norms
Beauty standards
Media influence
Self-confidence
Self-esteem
Health issues
Aging
Peer pressure
Celebrity influence
Body image
Vibrant look
Risks
Unhealthy beauty standards
Addiction
Stigma
Mental health
Financial costs

What to do next:

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#62. Task2: The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical apperance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

What are the main reasons and solutions for re-offend?

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent researching other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foregin language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanantages of this outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include some relevant examples.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for vary fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.