Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words
Nowadays
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
said
that Wrong verb form
say
students
must have full
Correct word choice
apply
time
studying
Change the verb form
to study
untile
they reach 18 yearsCorrect your spelling
until
.
I believe that Correct word choice
old.
students
must consume
most of their Verb problem
spend
time
on education because they need to enter a university and during this
time
they are not required to a huge load.
To begin
with, students
marks are increasing Change noun form
students'
student's
years
after Fix the agreement mistake
year
years
which Fix the agreement mistake
year
make
entering a university for an average student Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
is becoming
harder than ever. In Verb problem
apply
another word
, Fix the agreement mistake
other words
students
must allocate most of their time
to study to get a high degree which is required for their university. Student having a part-time
job along with
their school would makes
Change the verb form
make
him
have Correct pronoun usage
them
a
high stress and anxiety and as Remove the article
apply
result
of Correct article usage
a result
that
Add a comma
that,
he
will get a lower degree. Correct pronoun usage
they
For example
, Saudia
Arabia found that most of their Correct your spelling
Saudi
students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
they
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
part-Correct article usage
apply
time
job
during their school days had Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
a
lower Correct article usage
apply
degress
Correct your spelling
degrees
degree
comparing
to Wrong verb form
compared
a
Correct article usage
apply
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
students
.
Another point to consider, students
under the age of 18 are not fully developed and they need a mature family to guide them to reach their goals. Moreover
, young people choose their need
based on their Fix the agreement mistake
needs
emotion
rather Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
their
Change preposition
than their
mind
or brain Fix the agreement mistake
minds
beacuse
they are not fully developed which Correct your spelling
because
at
the end Change preposition
in
chould
harm them in different Correct your spelling
could
should
way
. Fix the agreement mistake
ways
For instance
, if students
stop going to school, they will have a huge free time
and as a result
of
Change preposition
apply
that
they could start looking for sexual Correct word choice
apply
Correct your spelling
lives
lifes
or drugs based on research done in Correct your spelling
lives
United
Correct article usage
the United
Capitalize word
States
states
In conclusion, despite the debate about whether Capitalize word
States
students
should study untile
18 or not. I strongly agree with Correct your spelling
until
this
opinion because they are not mature enough and their need
for high marks.Correct article usage
a need
Submitted by sslghamdi945 on
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advice.task achievement.complete response
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance. Make sure your introduction also outlines the main ideas that will be discussed in the essay to enhance clarity.
advice.coherence cohesion.logical structure
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and avoid jumping abruptly between ideas.
advice.task achievement.clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences are a bit unclear due to grammatical issues. Be sure to proofread your work to enhance clarity and avoid misunderstandings.
advice.coherence cohesion.introduction conclusion present
Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'For instance', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to help guide the reader through your arguments and make connections between ideas clear.
advice.coherence cohesion.supported main points
Try to use varied sentence structures to make your writing more dynamic and engaging. Avoid repetitive phrasing and vocabulary.
positive.task achievement.complete response
Your response fully addresses the task by discussing the importance of full-time education until the age of 18.
positive.task achievement.relevant specific examples
You've provided examples to support your main points, such as examples from Saudi Arabia and the United States.
positive.coherence cohesion.introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your main argument.