Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, however, feel that this will lead to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the frequency and depth of business and cultural contact between countries

due to

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the advancements in internet connection and transportation.

However

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, people hold different views about

this

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phenomenon. Some individuals believe that the growing corporate and cultural connections have more positive and far-reaching effects. One primary reason in favour of

this

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opinion is that

this

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trend is beneficial for economic development.

For example

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, some multinational corporations in developed countries make full use of cheap resources and labour in underdeveloped ones to produce cost-effective products to increase sales and profits. At the same time, these enterprises

also

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create more jobs for individuals in deprived areas, which is conducive for them to increase their incomes and lead a better life.

Besides

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, the increasing cultural contact is good for mutual understanding and global peace. Take films for an example. Watching a foreign movie or video is an appealing and energising approach for viewers to be aware of the language, history and ethos of the nation, which can help to improve their comprehension of exotic

cultures

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However

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, there are some opponents who think that the communication of businesses and

cultures

Use synonyms

between countries will cause the

loss

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of national identities. Some brands of multinational companies have relentlessly advanced into every corner of the world, ousting local manufacturing items.

This

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trend contributes to not only the

loss

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of cultural diversity worldwide but

also

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the sad disappearance of the manifestation of the local unique

cultures

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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this

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problem can be addressed by some methods. One example is to build some museums to exhibit those items being replaced, which is an effective way for locals to know their own

cultures

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, avoiding and combatting the

loss

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of national identities. In conclusion, I firmly agree that

this

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trend is a positive development as it can enhance economic growth and mutual understanding of different

cultures

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

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, every country should take some action to retain and advertise their own

cultures

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in case of the

loss

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of national identities.

1378468145

Nov 5, 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular films or companies that serve as good case studies.

coherence cohesion

Sometimes your transitions between ideas could be clearer. Use more linking words to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clearly identified main point and that this point is explicitly connected to the essay question.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear entry and exit point for the reader.

task achievement

Your essay addresses all parts of the task with relevant arguments for both sides, alongside your own opinion.

task achievement

The examples, although limited in specificity, are appropriate and help to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, however, feel that this will lead to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer-based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”