Some believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think that it depends on factors such as money or personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most of the philosophers stated that hard
work
and determination bring
success
in life
while
it is
others'
Change noun form
others
show examples
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that
success
comes from money and personal
appearance
. The relationship between hard
work
, determination, and
success
is traditionally strong, suggesting that individuals who dedicate significant time and effort often achieve their goals. Many successful people cite hard
work
and perseverance as key elements in overcoming challenges and attaining their positions, which fosters innovation and resilience. Factors like money and
appearance
can offer advantages in terms of opportunities and initial access to certain resources or networks, but they might not sustain long-term
success
without accompanying effort. Financial resources can provide better education opportunities, access to influential networks, and a safety net, allowing individuals to take risks, but can
also
lead to complacency without the drive for hard
work
. Personal
appearance
may influence first impressions and opportunities, especially in industries like entertainment and fashion, yet, sustaining
success
usually requires capability and persistence. Ultimately,
while
external factors like money or
appearance
can contribute to
success
, they are often not sufficient without the fundamental elements of hard
work
and determination which provide the means to adapt, grow, and remain relevant.
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task achievement
To further strengthen your essay, consider incorporating specific examples or case studies. This will enhance the support of your main points and provide clearer insight into how factors like money or appearance can affect success.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between discussing hard work and factors like money and appearance, ensuring each transition is smooth and logically consistent.
task achievement
The essay thoughtfully addresses both viewpoints, providing a balanced discussion of how hard work, determination, money, and appearance can influence success.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is clear, with a consistent flow from introduction to conclusion, effectively leading the reader through your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • determination
  • perseverance
  • success
  • innovation
  • resilience
  • opportunities
  • resources
  • networks
  • sustain
  • financial resources
  • safety net
  • first impressions
  • capability
  • relevant
  • fundamental elements
  • external factors
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