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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph illustrates the data of adults playing seven different sports from one area between 1997 and 2017, which is an interval of 20 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that among seven different sports, the most popular
game
Use synonyms
 is tennis with
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
show examples
 number of
players
Use synonyms
 during these years.
Then
Linking Words
, rugby and football almost share
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal proportionality of participation of
players
Use synonyms
 in these two games with
minute
Add an article
the minute
a minute
show examples
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the number of
players
Use synonyms
 towards the
game
Use synonyms
,
cricket
Change preposition
of cricket
show examples
, has significantly decreased in 2017. The seven different games being played in the particular area
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 rise and fall during
this
Linking Words
 interval of twenty years. Tennis remained on the rise in 1997
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 approximately 50
thousand
Use synonyms
 adults took part in
this
Linking Words
game
Use synonyms
 and
further
Linking Words
 rose
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 55
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the second place, rugby
players
Use synonyms
 increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 18
thousand
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and reached under 50
thousand
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
. Comparatively,
footbal
Correct your spelling
football
players
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 saw the same level of rise from 31
thousand
Use synonyms
 to above 45
thousand
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
. The
least playing
Correct your spelling
least-played
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cricket which faced a significant fall in the number of adult
players
Use synonyms
, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 under 30
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 1997 and decreased
under
Change preposition
to under
show examples
 10
thousand
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rooha.javed on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words game, players, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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