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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

#shops #country #summarise #information #features
The
line-chart
Correct your spelling
line chart
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 illustrates how many stores either closed or opened in a nation from 2011 to 2018. From an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the number
both
Change preposition
of both
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 closures and openings of shops decreased over the examined period in
this
 country.
Moreover
,
although
 the number of stores that opened was more than the stores that closed at the start of
period
Add an article
the period
a period
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, the data became inverse in the final
year
. Regarding shop openings, about 8,500 businesses started their work in 2011,
this
 figure declined dramatically during the first
year
 by more than 4,500,
fallowed
Correct your spelling
followed
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 by a significant rise to just above 6,000
opening
Change to a plural noun
openings
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.
However
,
this
 data experienced its second dramatic fall between 2014 and 2015
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 4,000. The number almost remained unchanged in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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to
Correct your spelling
two
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 before a gradual decrease to 3,000 in the
last
year
. In terms of markets that ended their work, around 6,200 businesses finished working in
first
Change the article
the first
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year
.
This
 data fluctuated during the first four years of calculated time, before a very sharp reduction to 500 closures from 2014 to 2015.
Nonetheless
,
this
Change the determiner
these
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statics
Correct your spelling
statistics
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 jump to just over 5,000 until 2016, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 fluctuate slightly during the two final years.
Submitted by elahepoorhosein1990 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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