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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The
line-chart
Correct your spelling
line chart
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 illustrates how many stores either closed or opened in a nation from 2011 to 2018. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the number
both
Change preposition
of both
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 closures and openings of shops decreased over the examined period in
this
Linking Words
 country.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the number of stores that opened was more than the stores that closed at the start of
period
Add an article
the period
a period
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, the data became inverse in the final
year
Use synonyms
. Regarding shop openings, about 8,500 businesses started their work in 2011,
this
Linking Words
 figure declined dramatically during the first
year
Use synonyms
 by more than 4,500,
fallowed
Correct your spelling
followed
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 by a significant rise to just above 6,000
opening
Change to a plural noun
openings
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.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 data experienced its second dramatic fall between 2014 and 2015
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 4,000. The number almost remained unchanged in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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to
Correct your spelling
two
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Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 before a gradual decrease to 3,000 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. In terms of markets that ended their work, around 6,200 businesses finished working in
first
Change the article
the first
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year
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 data fluctuated during the first four years of calculated time, before a very sharp reduction to 500 closures from 2014 to 2015.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
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statics
Correct your spelling
statistics
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 jump to just over 5,000 until 2016, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 fluctuate slightly during the two final years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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