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Writing Samples
Band 7

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
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The issue of the number of young
adults
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 and older
people
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 in some countries has garnered significant attention in recent years. Some
people
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 believe the number of young
adults
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 employed in society causes an improved nation compared to the old employed
people
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 in the countries,
while
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 some other ideas are the experience of old
people
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 should be used for improving the community.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and the writer explains his own idea. To commence with the first idea, how many young
adults
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 are employed in different areas in a country can cause both increased qualification for goods
as well as
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 services and decreased qualification in society.
Thus
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 , it is better to use the experience of old
people
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.
Furthermore
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, increasing the number of young
adults
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 in a nation can cause a surge in happiness in a community. On the flip side, some
people
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 believe that employing elders in the administration and production affairs of the country can be very useful, but can cause a decrease in qualifications in the mentioned item.
Therefore
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, they think that if young
adults
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 and old
people
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 are employed at the same time in the production and executive works of the country, it can increase the efficiency of the aforementioned items. Because the experience of older
people
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 helps young
adults
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 a lot.
To conclude
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, employing young
adults
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 and older
people
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 at the same time can increase the efficiency in the administration and product affairs of the community. So, casing surged the quality of goods and services in a society.
Submitted by amirghhhhhh1999 on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure your essay presents examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing the integration of young and older workers, provide specific instances where this approach has been successful.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on your ideas to provide greater clarity and depth. A sentence or two of additional explanation can solidify your argument.
logical structure
Organize your ideas with stronger transitions and ensure that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
complete response
You successfully address both views of the topic, demonstrating an understanding of the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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