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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe they should start school at a later age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age
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Some people believe
children
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 should start
school
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 early,
while
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 others think they should wait until they are a bit older. Both views have their own benefits, which I will discuss before sharing my opinion. On the one hand, starting
school
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 early allows
children
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 to develop important skills sooner.
For example
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, when
children
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 begin
school
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 at
age
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 four or five, they have more
time
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 to practice reading, writing, and counting.
This
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 early exposure to learning can help them build confidence and prepare them for future academic success.
Additionally
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, starting
school
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 at a young
age
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 can help
children
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 adapt to routines and social rules, making them feel more comfortable in a structured environment.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that
children
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 should start
school
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 later, around
age
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 six or seven. They believe that young
children
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 benefit from more
time
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 to play and explore freely before beginning formal education.
For instance
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, young
children
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 can spend
time
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 with family and learn basic social skills at home, which are
also
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 valuable for their growth.
Moreover
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, waiting a few years can help
children
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 feel more emotionally and mentally prepared for
school
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, reducing stress and improving their focus. In my opinion, it is better for
children
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 to start
school
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 at a slightly later
age
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. I think
children
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 need
time
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 to grow, play, and develop basic skills at home before starting their academic journey.
This
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 extra
time
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 can help them adjust to the demands of
school
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 life. In conclusion, both early and later
school
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 starts have their own advantages, but I believe that starting
school
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 later is more beneficial for
children
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’s
overall
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 development.
Submitted by anasepic.9999 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider providing more detailed examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth of your discussion and add credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
You might also strengthen your essay by further expanding on the reasons behind each viewpoint, creating opportunities to include a wider variety of supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both views, and a conclusion that states your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Topics are introduced logically and there is a smooth progression of ideas from one section to the next, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task, with a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and a clear personal opinion is provided.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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