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Band 6.5

Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe they should start school at a later age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age
Some people believe
children
 should start
school
 early,
while
 others think they should wait until they are a bit older. Both views have their own benefits, which I will discuss before sharing my opinion. On the one hand, starting
school
 early allows
children
 to develop important skills sooner.
For example
, when
children
 begin
school
 at
age
 four or five, they have more
time
 to practice reading, writing, and counting.
This
 early exposure to learning can help them build confidence and prepare them for future academic success.
Additionally
, starting
school
 at a young
age
 can help
children
 adapt to routines and social rules, making them feel more comfortable in a structured environment.
On the other hand
, some people argue that
children
 should start
school
 later, around
age
 six or seven. They believe that young
children
 benefit from more
time
 to play and explore freely before beginning formal education.
For instance
, young
children
 can spend
time
 with family and learn basic social skills at home, which are
also
 valuable for their growth.
Moreover
, waiting a few years can help
children
 feel more emotionally and mentally prepared for
school
, reducing stress and improving their focus. In my opinion, it is better for
children
 to start
school
 at a slightly later
age
. I think
children
 need
time
 to grow, play, and develop basic skills at home before starting their academic journey.
This
 extra
time
 can help them adjust to the demands of
school
 life. In conclusion, both early and later
school
 starts have their own advantages, but I believe that starting
school
 later is more beneficial for
children
’s
overall
 development.
Submitted by anasepic.9999 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider providing more detailed examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth of your discussion and add credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
You might also strengthen your essay by further expanding on the reasons behind each viewpoint, creating opportunities to include a wider variety of supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both views, and a conclusion that states your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Topics are introduced logically and there is a smooth progression of ideas from one section to the next, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task, with a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and a clear personal opinion is provided.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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