There is a trend in the 21 century in which people are turning to alternative healing like Ayurveda and homoeopathy over allopathic medicine. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the graph provides key Information about Participants
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
various
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
at one social centre in Melbourn ,Australia from 2000 to 2020. The units are measured in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of participants.
overall
, it is clear from the graph
tha
Correct your spelling
that
table tennis had a significant soared
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
2010 until 2010.
In addition
, the
muscial
Correct your spelling
musical
performances were a zero of participants In 2005,
whereas
. film club had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of active members at 61
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
.
According to
what is shown, amateur dramatics
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undergo a fluctuated
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
people
such
as, in 2005 were at 28
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
however
, in 2020
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
lowest rate around
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
People
.
Moreover
,
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
club demonstrated
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moderate
Participant
Replace the word
Participation
show examples
in all years, but in 2020,
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
club reached
a
Change the article
the
show examples
highest rate at 68. In terms of marital arts in 2010, the most of
people
had a considerable activity
rougly
Correct your spelling
roughly
at 30
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
.
Thus
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
sightly
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
same
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
of
People
.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Writing
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and fluency.
Writing
Include an introduction and a conclusion to give your essay a clear structure.
Writing
Provide more specific numerical data directly related to each category to make the essay more comprehensive.
Content
The essay includes an overview and description of trends over time.
Content
Different activities are analyzed separately, giving specific focus to categories like film club and martial arts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: