Some people believe that parks should be free to enter. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often assumed by some
people
that park authorities should not
charge
entrance fees.
Although
some
people
might agree with the statement, I completely disagree. Not only because
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
generated by these
facilities
could be used for
maintenance
and
staff
salaries but
also
because
this
revenue could be used for improving
facilities
in
parks
. Revenue generated by
parks
could be used for multiple purposes. First and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost, the funds generated by these
facilities
could pay for
maintenance
. Globally, many
parks
require huge sums of
money
to keep the greenery and streets clean and alluring.
For instance
, in 2020, about 1 million dollars were spent on
maintenance
Correct article usage
the maintenance
show examples
and renovation of Grand Central Park in New York.
This
reflects why
parks
should have all the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to
charge
money
.
Apart from
this
, in
this
way, these
facilities
can
also
utilize that
money
to pay for
staff
salaries. It is a ubiquitously known fact that major and known
parks
in big cities have several employees. To provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees with suitable employment, many nations are focusing on passing laws. In 1998, legislators passed a bill in Northern Sweden for eleven states requiring local councils to pay for
staff
expenses in public places through
in house
Add a hyphen
in-house
show examples
funding and entrance fees.
Thus
,
parks
and gardens should indeed
charge
money
.
Finally
, in order to attract more
people
, funds generated from these
facilities
can be utilized to provide extra
facilities
,
such
as gyms, tennis courts, cafeterias, etc.
This
would undoubtedly help
people
have good infrastructure to have morning walks, do exercises, and enjoy their leisure time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
such
places.
To sum up
, I do believe that public
parks
should have all the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
to
charge
entrance fees. Not only to pay for
maintenance
and
staff
salaries but
also
for new
facilities
over there.
Submitted by hayatauqeer on

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task achievement
Ensure all examples are strongly linked to your main points. Some examples, like the Sweden legislation one, could be linked more clearly to revenue usage.
coherence cohesion
Try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. This will further improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position in response to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You’ve included an introduction and a strong conclusion, tying your points together neatly.
task achievement
The ideas in your paragraphs are well-detailed and developed.

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