Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make people useful to society .Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions . Discuss bothe views and give your opinion.

It is believed by
Correct article usage
a significance
show examples
significance
Replace the word
significant
show examples
number of humans that the main role of studying is reaching personal wishes or whether to be an advantageous
person
for people in
society
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I gave some
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
with
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
examples. On the
one
hand, the main goal of being rational in the field of education is
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
rich and achieve
reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
show examples
among people in
society
by assisting or being generous. In families, parents want to
grow up
Verb problem
raise
show examples
children
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
will be rich ,
generous
Correct word choice
and generous
show examples
and find a site among their peers in
society
.
One
of
reasons
Add an article
the reasons
show examples
for that by having
Correct article usage
a
show examples
respectful generation, parents show up and
proud
Add a missing verb
are proud
show examples
of their
children
.
For example
, ELON MUSK's mother said that she taught his child to be beneficial for all humans around him and make things which every
person
needs and uses
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in daily life
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world over.
On the other hand
, parents are making
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
high salaries and invest it in their
children
's education and
studies
Change the verb form
study
show examples
the main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
for that
they
Add a missing verb
is they
show examples
believe that their investments will definitely return
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their successful, respectful and reputed generations in the foreseeable future. By investing they bring their
children
to previous and
high-qualitied
Correct your spelling
high-quality
high-qualified
,modern schools which urge
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
every pupil to be educated and find a suitable occupation among
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
friends. In previous schools, there are only pupils
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have
one
purpose of being rational and being respectful
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
their knowledge. With the same
atmosphere
Add a comma
atmosphere,
show examples
every child
try
Change the verb form
tries
show examples
and study hard .
For instance
,
one
of the popular
scientist
Change to a plural noun
scientists
show examples
had learned complex subjects in
previous
Correct article usage
a previous
show examples
college with
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
atmosphere and pressure of his peers. In my point of view, every educated
person
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
a respectful site among
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
people by his successful projects and aids for
society
too. Being
rational
Add an article
a rational
show examples
person
has more benefits for
society
than for his personal ambitions. Educated individuals are often more involved in their communities , volunteering and participating in initiatives that benefit
society
,
such
as public health campaigns or environmental conservation efforts.
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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully to ensure each point is clear and comprehensive. Expanding on arguments will help you achieve a more thorough task response.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using linking words and phrases more consistently.
coherence cohesion
Structure each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and support it with detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Both views on the purpose of education were addressed, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
There are attempts to provide relevant examples, such as mentioning Elon Musk's mother, which contributes to task fulfillment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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