Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make people useful to society .Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions . Discuss bothe views and give your opinion.

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It is believed by
Correct article usage
a significance
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significance
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significant
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number of humans that the main role of studying is reaching personal wishes or whether to be an advantageous
person
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for people in
society
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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essay,
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I gave some
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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with
its
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apply
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examples. On the
one
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hand, the main goal of being rational in the field of education is
being
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to be
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rich and achieve
reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
show examples
among people in
society
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by assisting or being generous. In families, parents want to
grow up
Verb problem
raise
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children
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
will be rich ,
generous
Correct word choice
and generous
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and find a site among their peers in
society
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.
One
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of
reasons
Add an article
the reasons
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for that by having
Correct article usage
a
show examples
respectful generation, parents show up and
proud
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are proud
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of their
children
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.
For example
Linking Words
, ELON MUSK's mother said that she taught his child to be beneficial for all humans around him and make things which every
person
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needs and uses
it
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apply
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in daily life
in
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apply
show examples
the world over.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, parents are making
effort
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an effort
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for earning
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to earn
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high salaries and invest it in their
children
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's education and
studies
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study
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the main
reasons
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reason
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for that
they
Add a missing verb
is they
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believe that their investments will definitely return
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
by
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apply
show examples
their successful, respectful and reputed generations in the foreseeable future. By investing they bring their
children
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to previous and
high-qualitied
Correct your spelling
high-quality
high-qualified
,modern schools which urge
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
every pupil to be educated and find a suitable occupation among
its
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their
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friends. In previous schools, there are only pupils
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have
one
Use synonyms
purpose of being rational and being respectful
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
their knowledge. With the same
atmosphere
Add a comma
atmosphere,
show examples
every child
try
Change the verb form
tries
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and study hard .
For instance
Linking Words
,
one
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of the popular
scientist
Change to a plural noun
scientists
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had learned complex subjects in
previous
Correct article usage
a previous
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college with
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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atmosphere and pressure of his peers. In my point of view, every educated
person
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find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
a respectful site among
public
Correct article usage
the public
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people by his successful projects and aids for
society
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too. Being
rational
Add an article
a rational
show examples
person
Use synonyms
has more benefits for
society
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than for his personal ambitions. Educated individuals are often more involved in their communities , volunteering and participating in initiatives that benefit
society
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as public health campaigns or environmental conservation efforts.
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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully to ensure each point is clear and comprehensive. Expanding on arguments will help you achieve a more thorough task response.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using linking words and phrases more consistently.
coherence cohesion
Structure each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and support it with detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Both views on the purpose of education were addressed, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
There are attempts to provide relevant examples, such as mentioning Elon Musk's mother, which contributes to task fulfillment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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