Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In
the
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apply
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recent
year
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years
show examples
, the issue of
violents
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violent
violence
crimes committed by
the
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apply
show examples
teenages
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teenagers
who
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apply
show examples
under the age of 18
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a complex and controversial topic as it
involve
Change the verb form
involves
show examples
many
people
in
the
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apply
show examples
society
. Some
people
suggest that
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
teenage
crime
sould
Correct your spelling
should
be treated like
the
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apply
show examples
adults. Some
people
oppose that
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
should be rehabilitated by
Correct article usage
the govermant
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govermant
Correct your spelling
government
governments
and
school
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schools
show examples
.
This
essay will discuss both of the
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
. Treating the crimed
teenage
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teenagers
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like the adults
lead
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leads
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them to take
their
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apply
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responsibility
of
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for
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their
action
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actions
show examples
and subject them to legal
consequance
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
.
As
Correct word choice
People
show examples
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that no matter how old are they, serious violent crimes can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unforgettable and grave
consequance
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
. Since
kindergarden
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kindergarten
, teachers and parents
teach
Wrong verb form
have taught
show examples
that we should take
the
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apply
show examples
responsibility
of
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for
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our
action
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actions
show examples
so based on
this
principle,
people
crime
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crimes
show examples
regardless of age should face the
consequance
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
of their
action
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actions
show examples
such
as keep in
the
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apply
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prison.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the
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apply
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harsh punishments can
deterrent
Replace the word
deter
show examples
people
to
aovid
Correct your spelling
avoid
criming
Correct your spelling
crimes
. The
oppents
Correct your spelling
opponents
believe that
rehabilitation
can apply
onthe
Correct your spelling
on the
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
teenage
criming
Correct your spelling
crime
.
Rehabilitation
is a chance for
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
to change and learn from
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
as among
of
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apply
show examples
them criming are influenced
peer
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by peer
show examples
and have immature
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
that may not belong to their ninstinct. At
this
moment ,
Rehabilitation
can be a good chance for them to develop their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and meet some
friend
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friends
show examples
who are nice and don't push
you
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them
show examples
to
crime
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crimes
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it is good for
the
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apply
show examples
society
as
the
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apply
show examples
society
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
who have the right thinking. In conclusion, punishing the
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults can teach them to take
responsility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Rehabilitation
can provide the chance for them to change their mind.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
my view, Treating
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
like
adullts
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adults
can
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
the
numer
Correct your spelling
number
of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
and the
people
in
society
need to discuss different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
and answer the
people
before they make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decision as it is a serious topic.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Task Achievement
Ensure accuracy in spelling and grammar to strengthen your task response; for example, 'violents' should be 'violent' and 'teenages' should be 'teenagers'.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples, such as real-life cases or statistics about youth crime and rehabilitation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear transition words and sentences to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas, improving coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main point and expands on it comprehensively. This will help in presenting clear and logical arguments.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which is essential for a balanced argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, giving a complete structure to your response.
Introduction and Conclusion Presence
A conclusion is presented that summarises your opinion clearly, which is critical for essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Justice system
  • Deterrence
  • Cognitive development
  • Accountability
  • Severity of punishment
  • Rehabilitation
  • Restorative justice
  • Root causes of crime
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegrate
  • Impulse control
  • Environmental factors
  • Incarceration
  • Law-abiding citizen
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