Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
the
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apply
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recent
year
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years
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, the issue of
violents
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violent
violence
crimes committed by
the
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apply
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teenages
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teenagers
who
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under the age of 18
is
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has been
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a complex and controversial topic as it
involve
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involves
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many
people
in
the
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apply
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society
. Some
people
suggest that
teenages
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teenagers
teenage
crime
sould
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should
be treated like
the
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apply
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adults. Some
people
oppose that
teenage
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teenagers
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should be rehabilitated by
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the govermant
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govermant
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government
governments
and
school
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schools
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.
This
essay will discuss both of the
view
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views
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. Treating the crimed
teenage
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teenagers
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like the adults
lead
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leads
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them to take
their
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responsibility
of
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for
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their
action
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actions
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and subject them to legal
consequance
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consequences
consequence
.
As
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People
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people
belive
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believe
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that no matter how old are they, serious violent crimes can cause
the
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apply
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unforgettable and grave
consequance
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consequence
consequences
. Since
kindergarden
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kindergarten
, teachers and parents
teach
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have taught
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that we should take
the
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apply
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responsibility
of
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for
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our
action
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actions
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so based on
this
principle,
people
crime
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crimes
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regardless of age should face the
consequance
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consequences
consequence
of their
action
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actions
show examples
such
as keep in
the
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apply
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prison.
Also
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Also,
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the
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apply
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harsh punishments can
deterrent
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deter
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people
to
aovid
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avoid
criming
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crimes
. The
oppents
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opponents
believe that
rehabilitation
can apply
onthe
Correct your spelling
on the
teenages
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teenagers
teenage
criming
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crime
.
Rehabilitation
is a chance for
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
to change and learn from
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
as among
of
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apply
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them criming are influenced
peer
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by peer
show examples
and have immature
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
skill
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skills
show examples
that may not belong to their ninstinct. At
this
moment ,
Rehabilitation
can be a good chance for them to develop their
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
skill
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skills
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and meet some
friend
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friends
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who are nice and don't push
you
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them
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to
crime
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crimes
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.
Also
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Also,
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it is good for
the
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apply
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society
as
the
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apply
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society
have
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has
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more
teenage
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teenagers
show examples
who have the right thinking. In conclusion, punishing the
teenages
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teenagers
like
the
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apply
show examples
adults can teach them to take
responsility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Rehabilitation
can provide the chance for them to change their mind.
For
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In
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my view, Treating
teenages
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teenagers
like
adullts
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adults
can
decrese
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decrease
the
numer
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number
of
crime
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crimes
show examples
.I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
and the
people
in
society
need to discuss different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
and answer the
people
before they make
the
Correct article usage
a
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decision as it is a serious topic.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Task Achievement
Ensure accuracy in spelling and grammar to strengthen your task response; for example, 'violents' should be 'violent' and 'teenages' should be 'teenagers'.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples, such as real-life cases or statistics about youth crime and rehabilitation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear transition words and sentences to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas, improving coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main point and expands on it comprehensively. This will help in presenting clear and logical arguments.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which is essential for a balanced argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, giving a complete structure to your response.
Introduction and Conclusion Presence
A conclusion is presented that summarises your opinion clearly, which is critical for essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Justice system
  • Deterrence
  • Cognitive development
  • Accountability
  • Severity of punishment
  • Rehabilitation
  • Restorative justice
  • Root causes of crime
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegrate
  • Impulse control
  • Environmental factors
  • Incarceration
  • Law-abiding citizen
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