Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that financial topics and
courses
should be prioritized over students’ teaching
as well as
other mandatory subjects at
schools
to help students prepare for managing financial issues in the future. I strongly agree with
this
trend and believe that the government should try to implement the policy to teach financial subjects and
skills
at
schools
. First of all, in the advanced world, a significant number of people have encountered financial challenges.
In other words
, many individuals have difficulty meeting their needs
due to
financial problems.
Therefore
, if people especially the younger generation make an effort to improve their problem-solving
skills
including financial
skills
, it can contribute to
overall
well-being and fulfilment in their personal lives. Consider a person as an example, who has not earned a sufficient salary over the years, if
this
individual learned, through a younger age, to set their
skills
and knowledge toward solving financial challenges, he would exert significant progress to find an accurate way, uppering successful leader in order to meet his needs easily.
On the other hand
, some
courses
taught at
schools
are not as practical as they must
.
Add a missing verb
be.
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Even though, taking some practical
courses
such
as finance not only brings a sense of fulfilment, can
also
help students prepare for a distant future. A prime illustration of
this
is a school that encourages students to pick finance lessons,
this
approach can inherently yield success.
As a result
, many parents will make a decision to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
their children at these kinds of
schools
. In conclusion,
although
there are different views toward teaching financial
courses
as a mandatory subject at
schools
, I strongly believe that
this
approach not only can lead to success for both individuals and societies as a whole but can
also
contribute to the
overall
well-being of people.
Submitted by mahanz on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs in a logical structure. Start with a clear topic sentence and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Utilize transition words to improve coherence.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. Illustrative examples can help clarify your arguments and make them more persuasive.
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Try to develop some of your ideas further. While you have some clear points, providing more depth in your explanation can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main argument and effectively encapsulate your views.
task achievement
You provide a complete response to the task, addressing both the importance of financial education and its benefits.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear and comprehensive view on the topic, making it easy for the reader to understand your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
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