Nowadays athletes are becoming more popular. It is known that athletes have two ways of medal, and there is no absolute agreement on how bad or how good it could be.

Nowadays

athletes

Use synonyms

are becoming more popular. It is known that

athletes

Use synonyms

have two ways of medal, and there is no absolute agreement on how bad or how good it could be. A commonly held belief is that athleticism is giving a discipline

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and healthy lifestyle.

Furthermore

Linking Words

athletes

Use synonyms

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a great chance to enter in Championship. It could be explained by the fact that

Linking Words

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

physical condition

that

Change preposition

show examples

having

athletes

Use synonyms

Verb problem

corresponds

show examples

more correspond of their motive to have a healthy life

form

Use synonyms

. As well, their

overall

Linking Words

physical condition can give them a great future of being championship or

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

a famous athlete in the world. As a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

, it leads to

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

athletes

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

having a great physical

form

Use synonyms

and

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

future. But

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, some people claim that athleticism is giving a negative experience and life

form

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, they may mention that they take drugs. But not

common

Correct article usage

a common

show examples

one, it means doping.

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

it costs many facts and cases with other

athletes

Use synonyms

who were taking

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

doping. The explanation lies in the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

doing

Wrong verb form

done

show examples

only

for becoming

Change preposition

to become

show examples

a championship or to have a lot of adrenaline for a confident victory.

Therefore

Linking Words

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a lot of meanings and sometimes “fake facts” about

athletes

Use synonyms

and their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

. Everyone is trying to get a victory, many medals and fame in different ways. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that

athletes

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

keeping more pros and good things for our life

form

Use synonyms

. Because of the

overall

Linking Words

physical condition, constant movements and

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

our

life’s

Change noun form

life

show examples

better and healthy.

dnm.bestWed Nov 06 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve, ensure your essay has clear paragraphing with a clear central idea in each paragraph. It would be beneficial to develop your paragraph on the negative aspects of sports more thoroughly and with additional examples.

Task Achievement

Try to be more specific and detailed in your arguments. For instance, when discussing doping, provide more context to explore its implications on athletes' careers and health.

Task Achievement

Work on supporting your main points with more specific, relevant examples. This helps in creating a more convincing argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the two sides of athleticism, showing an understanding of the task prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Nowadays athletes are becoming more popular. It is known that athletes have two ways of medal, and there is no absolute agreement on how bad or how good it could be.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

It is better for companies to help their workers feel happy at work rather than put lots of pressure on them for the sake of profit. Do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools or disagree? To what extent do you agree

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?