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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of planets and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #planets #animals
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Environmental issues have been widely debated across all levels of
society
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 in recent years. Some suppose that the problem of the disappearance of certain species of
animals
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 and plants is the most serious and acute,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that there are more important difficulties in ecological systems. I think that there are more serious problems,
such
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 as
climate
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change
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, which entail not only the extinction of species but
also
Linking Words
 consequences for the whole
society
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. On the one hand, especially in recent times,
society
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 has caused invaluable damage to the environment, which entails the disappearance of
animals
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 and plants. People have excessively used nature for production and business. There is active deforestation, accumulation of landfills, and waste disposal.
Thus
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, flora is dying, and
animals
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 are being deprived of the most important thing – their habitat, which will eventually lead to their loss.
Moreover
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, in our modern world, poaching still flourishes, specifically aimed at killing the rarest
animals
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.
Such
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 damage to our biosphere is not recoverable and will be a blow to the economic development of
society
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.
On the other hand
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, people can fairly consider that there are more serious difficulties, like global
climate
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change
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.
According to
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this
Linking Words
 view, it is a much more complex phenomenon.
For example
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, changes in temperature strongly affect the melting of glaciers.
This
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 deprives Arctic
animals
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 of their habitat and simultaneously causes flooding and rising sea levels. Floods can sweep away urban slums, destroying homes and livelihoods among the poorest people. At the same time,
climate
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change
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 will cause droughts and the reduction of suitable places for growing crops. I would agree that these are impressive examples of the dangers of changing weather conditions. In conclusion, even though some believe that the extinction of species is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major problem in the environment, there are
consequently
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 more dangerous processes that endanger the future of our planet. I believe that only the combined work of all countries can affect threats
such
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 as
climate
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change
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, and it is our duty to contribute to
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by Baki on

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task response
Ensure a balanced discussion by elaborating more on the side you support less.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more varied examples to support each point.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is easy to follow, with each paragraph dedicated to a clear point of view.
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