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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below provides statistics on several major metro (MRT) systems around the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below provides statistics on several major metro (MRT) systems around the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.
#statistics #metro #mrt #systems #world #information #feature #comparisons
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The depicted table presents information about the various
metro
Use synonyms
 systems across the world, highlighting their completion years, length and carrying capacity.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 London was the pioneer city to start the
metro
Use synonyms
, more
people
Use synonyms
 could be accommodated by the technology developed in Tokyo. The subway in Kyoto covered the least distance and had the minimum carriage among all.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the MRT started in Tokyo in the
year
Use synonyms
 1904,
could
Correct word choice
and could
show examples
 carry 1434
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 at a time covering 149km of the distance. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 same transportation mode covered more area of 1100
km
Use synonyms
 in London when commenced in the
year
Use synonyms
 1863, accommodating less than half of the
metro
Use synonyms
 in Tokyo. In the
year
Use synonyms
 1890, Paris inaugurated its
metro
Use synonyms
 providing services for around 594
km
Use synonyms
. Shifting attention towards the other three cities, Washington DC had the completion of a
metro
Use synonyms
 system by the
year
Use synonyms
 1921, which was used to commute 70
million
Use synonyms
 natives to a distance of 114
km
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 advancement assisted only 11
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 to travel for 11km in Kyoto, when started in the
year
Use synonyms
 1980.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
metro
Use synonyms
 was introduced in L.A. more than two decades ago commuting 14km and carrying 90
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by plkkhati on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words metro, people, year, million, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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