Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words

Even though nowadays
parents
are becoming more
broad minded
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broad-minded
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and democratic, some families are still pressuring their youngsters to choose a specific path or make a certain decision, which can lead to more stress and quick failure.
This
should be considered as a negative development, as it may negatively affect their academic performance and mental health.
This
essay will
further
discuss the factors contributing to
this
pressure, followed by a discussion of the negative consequences. First and foremost some
parents
weighs
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weigh
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their
youngsters
Change to a genitive case
youngster's
youngsters'
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success with their future college or career, which adds
a
Correct article usage
apply
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massive tense on the children, as they are obliged to study a lot and for many hours to excel in their studies.
For
example
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example,
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my grandparents forced my
parents
to study very hard for a long period of time as they wanted them to be either engineers or doctors,
in addition
to that, they didn’t have the choice of freedom in regards which university they
want
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wanted
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or
prefer
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preferred
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.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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parents
nowadays fear the lack of proper role models
to
Change preposition
for
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the younger generations as they can easily be influenced by media, which results in more
parents
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parental
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force.
Nevertheless
, creating pressure will negatively impact the kids, making them indecisive and more dependent.
Therefore
, they will become demotivated and discouraged, and they are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety.
As a result
, they would suffer from low self-esteem, as they have failed to meet their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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expectations.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
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adding too much pressure to our juniors can absolutely have a negative impact on their personalities, as
this
will minimize their confidence and self-assurance,
besides
they will always have a feeling of self-doubt towards any choice or future decision.
Submitted by Mido  on

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Task Achievement
Expand on some points to provide a more comprehensive discussion of the essay topic. Consider exploring additional factors contributing to parental pressure or offering more examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen connections between points by using more transition words or phrases to guide the reader. This will help improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of some minor grammatical errors that slightly affect the readability. Correcting these will enhance the essay's clarity and professionalism.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear topic introduction and conclusion. These sections effectively frame the discussion and summarize the argument.
Task Achievement
You have identified relevant factors contributing to the pressure parents place on their children, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

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