Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

Today's,
children
spend many hours playing computer
games
as a result
of having digital devices
such
as mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
or
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
,
reather
Correct your spelling
rather
than playing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traditional
games
like in the past .
This
change can be
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
various reasons.
However
, in
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
difference and how it can
influences
Change the verb form
influence
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
. On the one hand, in our decade now,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology has changed
everytings
Correct your spelling
everything
in life, even the
games
that young people used to
played
Change the verb form
play
show examples
. Nowadays, they start playing digital
games
using their
ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
or laptop, they find it more interesting than playing traditional
games
outside
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
with their
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
For example
, a study conducted by Harvard University revealed that
children
who were born in the
last
15 years,
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
playing video
games
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more interesting
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
other activities, and it can lead
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
various issues.
On the other hand
, digital
games
can have a negative impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
and lead
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
many issues if it used in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
wrong way. Computer
games
can make
teentagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
addicted to
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
devices that they use.
Also
, The light blue that comes from these devices can damage
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
, and affect badly on the brain.
However
, despite
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all
disadvantages
Correct determiner usage
these disadvantages
show examples
, modern
games
can have a positive side.It can improve
bacis
Correct your spelling
basic
skills in
children
,
such
as
probelm-solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
.
For instance
,
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
research
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
that playing chess
ot
Correct your spelling
or
similar
games
can increase the IQ level in the brain,
also
enhance their personalities. In conclusion, modern
games
can have advantages and disadvantages, but kids
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the right way and choose
games
that can have a positive
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
on them.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the discussion by providing a more comprehensive exploration of how computer games have replaced traditional ones, with specific reasons such as accessibility, immediate reward, or social connectivity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly supported with evidence or examples. Try to develop each point fully before moving on to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' to enhance the flow between paragraphs and maintain a smooth progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the reasons for the shift to digital games and its potential impacts on children.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear beginning and end-point to the discussion.
task achievement
There is a good effort to discuss both negative and positive impacts of gaming, showing a comprehensive approach to the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: