Friendships that take place online rendition not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. Do what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
individuls
believe that online Correct your spelling
individuals
friendship
are not as significant as those where Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
people
to
gather Fix the infinitive
apply
each
other Change preposition
with each
face
to face
. While
there are valid arguments on both sides of this
topic , I partly agree with the supplied statement taking into consideration relevant attitudes and will elucidate my point of view with examples in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, by advancement
of Add an article
the advancement
technology
many Add a comma
technology,
people
prefer to make friends
on websites like Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. This
kind of apps
Fix the agreement mistake
app
offer
to connect easily for Verb problem
allows people
people
and make conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
between
Change preposition
with
people
who live in
overseas. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, this
system also
be advantageous for people
who is
Change the verb form
are
introvert
individuality do not appreciate Replace the word
introverted
make
Wrong verb form
making
friends
face
to face
. So , they also
make exchange their knowledge or improve their self - esteem
for different humans. Correct your spelling
self-esteem
As well as
, friendships which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
make
by technology could Wrong verb form
made
be reduce
anxiety and stress since when Change the verb form
reduce
people
are stressed by something , they can take a rest by calling or chatting with virtual friends
. As an illustration, according to
the research that has been carried out by scientists of
Amsterdam University. They found that Change preposition
at
recent
days all Change preposition
in recent
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
group
of age Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people make
Verb problem
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
by
websites which Change preposition
through
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
marry
by connection increased significantly by 80% more than facing attitudes.
Wrong verb form
marrying
On the other hand
, making friendships in teal
life Correct your spelling
real
provide
a number of benefits. Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
Firts
and foremost, Correct your spelling
First
face to
Replace the word
through a face-to-face
face
interaction system , humans can show real emotions like joyfully
and Replace the word
joy
sorrowful
Replace the word
sorrow
,
because when Remove the comma
apply
friends
interact facing
, conversation Verb problem
apply
could
be more Wrong verb form
can
effectively
and Change the word
effective
meaningfully
without internet reactions. Change the word
meaningful
Additionally
, by face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
face
interaction people
find more benefits like control time -consuming on mobile phone can help to make a life more fascinating. Consequently
, people
start
respect elderly Add the particle
start to
people
and master assist
humans Wrong verb form
assisting
which
Correct your spelling
with
they
have trouble.
Correct pronoun usage
whom they
To sum up
, friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
take
place Correct pronoun usage
that take
in
online Change preposition
apply
benefit
Fix the infinitive
to benefit
foe
resting and help to encourage Correct your spelling
from
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
person
. In my view , Fix the agreement mistake
people
is
not Correct pronoun usage
this is
say
virtual Fix the infinitive
to say
friendship
are not meaningful , that's why Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
people
who make friends
in
Change preposition
apply
face
to face
help
to boost Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
relationship
forever.Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Try to make each paragraph focus on a single main idea and ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Task Response
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your response more comprehensive and clearer to the reader.
Task Response
Polish the clarity of your arguments by refining your language and sentence structures. This can greatly improve the comprehensibility of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets the tone for the rest of the essay, and the conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
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