IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Friendships that take place online rendition not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. Do what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
individuls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 believe that online
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 are not as significant as those where
people
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
gather
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 there are valid arguments on both sides of
this
Linking Words
 topic , I partly agree with the supplied statement taking into consideration relevant attitudes and will elucidate my point of view with examples in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, by
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
 of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to make
friends
Use synonyms
 on websites like Instagram, Twitter or Facebook.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
apps
Fix the agreement mistake
app
show examples
offer
Verb problem
allows people
show examples
 to connect easily for
people
Use synonyms
 and make
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 system
also
Linking Words
 be advantageous for
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 individuality do not appreciate
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
friends
Use synonyms
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
. So , they
also
Linking Words
 make exchange their knowledge or improve their
self - esteem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
show examples
 for different humans.
As well as
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, friendships
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 by technology could
be reduce
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
 anxiety and stress since when
people
Use synonyms
 are stressed by something , they can take a rest by calling or chatting with virtual
friends
Use synonyms
. As an illustration,
according to
Linking Words
 the research that has been carried out by scientists
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Amsterdam University. They found that
recent
Change preposition
in recent
show examples
 days all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of age
Use synonyms
people make
Verb problem
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 websites which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
marry
Wrong verb form
marrying
show examples
 by connection increased significantly by 80% more than facing attitudes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , making friendships in
teal
Correct your spelling
real
show examples
 life
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 a number of benefits.
Firts
Correct your spelling
First
 and foremost,
Use synonyms
face to
Replace the word
through a face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 interaction system , humans can show real emotions like
joyfully
Replace the word
joy
show examples
 and
sorrowful
Replace the word
sorrow
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because when
friends
Use synonyms
 interact
facing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, conversation
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 be more
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
 and
meaningfully
Change the word
meaningful
show examples
 without internet reactions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, by
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 interaction
people
Use synonyms
 find more benefits like control time -consuming on mobile phone can help to make a life more fascinating.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
start
Add the particle
start to
show examples
 respect elderly
people
Use synonyms
 and master
assist
Wrong verb form
assisting
show examples
 humans
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
whom they
show examples
 have trouble.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
take
Correct pronoun usage
that take
show examples
 place
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
benefit
Fix the infinitive
to benefit
show examples
foe
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 resting and help to encourage
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. In my view ,
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 not
say
Fix the infinitive
to say
show examples
 virtual
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 are not meaningful , that's why
people
Use synonyms
 who make
friends
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to boost
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 forever.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Try to make each paragraph focus on a single main idea and ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Task Response
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your response more comprehensive and clearer to the reader.
Task Response
Polish the clarity of your arguments by refining your language and sentence structures. This can greatly improve the comprehensibility of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets the tone for the rest of the essay, and the conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
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