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Band 6.5

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is said that encouraging
students
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 to participate in
team
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sports
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 at school is the most effective approach with the aim of teaching them to collaborate. Much as I agree that
such
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 a
way
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 might promote cooperation among children, I firmly disagree with
this
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 perception.
To begin
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 with,
students
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 who take part in
team
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sports
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 at their schools can learn how to work constructively with their friends. In fact,
sport
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sports
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 participants cannot practice or play solely, they have to cooperate with their teammates and encourage each other to improve their skills.
For example
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, when children take part in a football
team
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, they have to play with at least 7 individuals, thereby not only comprehending the importance of
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team work
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teamwork
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 but
also
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 enhancing
this
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 skill.
Nevertheless
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, my conviction is that engaging in
team
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sports
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 is not the most constructive
way
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due to
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 a number of vivid reasons.
Firstly
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,
this
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 measure is not appropriate for all children. There are some
students
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 who do not have a good physical condition or have some illness
such
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 as asthma or backache, which do not allow them to play
sports
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, especially active ones
such
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 as volleyball, badminton or running. Another reason is that there are several efficient approaches to teaching
students
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 to
corporate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
show examples
. To illustrate, nowadays, schools have been constantly applying the modern teaching model which focuses on group study, and
therefore
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,
students
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 have more opportunities to actively learn and discuss with their peers. It is considered an effective
way
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 and is more suitable with most
students
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. In conclusion,
although
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 participating in
team
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sports
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 may teach
students
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 to cooperate, I am still convinced that it is not the most constructive
way
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 owing to its inappropriateness with several
students
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 and a number of more effective methods.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or studies that illustrate the effectiveness of non-sport related activities in promoting cooperation.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on the reasons why team sports might not be suitable for all students.
coherence cohesion
Include clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
task achievement
Each paragraph addresses a specific point relevant to the essay question, maintaining focus on the task.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and restates your position in a clear manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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