IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the changes of percentage of people born inside and outside of Australia live in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

#changes #percentage #people #australia #town
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The bar graph represents the proportions of born
people
Use synonyms
 inside and outside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 living in
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 places like urban , rural and town since 1995 and 2010.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in cities and the
Use synonyms
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is 80 and 60 in 2010 and 1995
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Also
Linking Words
 following rural
areas
Use synonyms
 in outside born
people
Use synonyms
 40
Use synonyms
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
. In 2010 the towns and rural
outside
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 the percentage
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 quite similar is 10 to 5
Use synonyms
percantage
Correct your spelling
per cent
.
Further
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 born in
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in cities as
campare
Correct your spelling
compare
compared
 to others
percantage
Use synonyms
 is 50 and 65. Towns and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 in 1995
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 different numbers of
borned
Correct your spelling
bored
born
people
Use synonyms
 but in 2010 town and rural
areas
Use synonyms
quaitity
Correct your spelling
quality
quantity
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is 17. 1995 is better and
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 born as
campered
Correct your spelling
compared
 to 2010.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
people
Use synonyms
loved
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
 to live in cities because of all things available easily.
Submitted by Siya on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, percantage, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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