The map show the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The map show the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.
The map depicts the downtown of Paris where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a company wants to inaugurate a new restaurant.Indeed, there are two possible sites for the project, site 1 and site 2.
Overall
,the city centre features numerous amenities located on both sides of the
river
,named "Seine"
as well as
the two theoretical locations that have been chosen to lodge the new restaurant. The northern part of the area, beyond the
river
Seine, contains an aquarium,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
wide area of greenery which is the local
park
.At the right
hand
of the
park
, an aquarium is settling.
On the contrary
, site number 1 is located on the left
hand
of the aforementioned area.
In addition
,the maritime
park
which hosts a count of 8000 visitors per day, is located on the top side of the
park
. The south part of the city, which is the southern side of the
river
, contains the same stretch of greenery,
as well as
the well-known Effeil tower which welcomes
16 000
Correct your spelling
16,000
curious people every day. At the right
hand
of that monument, the second possible location is setting up.
in addition
to an art gallery.On the left
hand
of the southern
park
Correct your spelling
part
show examples
of downtown, there is a sports centre.
Finally
, the two sides of the
river
are linked through 3 bridges.
Submitted by namoisma on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, in addition".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words river, park, hand with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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