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Band 4.5

The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#market #smartphone #brands #russia #amount #imports #three #years #information #features #comparisons
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The chart visualized the
overall
Linking Words
 market percentage of various
brands
Use synonyms
 in smartphone
sales
Use synonyms
 in Russia, including the imports, which begin
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of 2019 to middle
through
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, the information presented showed that
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and
iPhone
Use synonyms
 placed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
second and third most
sales
Use synonyms
 phones in Russia. Surprisingly, other
brands
Use synonyms
 that dominated the market were
Samsung
Use synonyms
,
Xiami
Correct your spelling
Xiaomi
, Oppo, and Vivo.
While
Linking Words
 the
iPhone
Use synonyms
 and other
brands
Use synonyms
 turned down from 2019 to 2021.
To begin
Linking Words
, at the quartal 4 in 2019,
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and
iPhone
Use synonyms
 shared the same
sales
Use synonyms
 percentage, which was 18%.
While
Linking Words
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
brands
Use synonyms
 only reach 8% and other
brands
Use synonyms
 reach 40%.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same
quartal
Correct your spelling
quarter
show examples
 in the next year, which was 2020, there was a slight increase in people buying iPhones in Russia since it reached 21%.
Instead
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 year,
Samsung
Use synonyms
 just went down to 16%.
However
Linking Words
, in 2021 there are twisting trend of market
sales
Use synonyms
 among
Use synonyms
samsung
Change the capitalization
Samsung
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
.
While
Linking Words
Samsung
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased,
Use synonyms
Iphone was
Verb problem
the iPhone
show examples
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 dropped to the lowest
sales
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 conditions affected
other smartphone brand
Change the wording
another smartphone brand
other smartphone brands
show examples
 in
sales
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by putri on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words brands, sales, samsung, iphone with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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