More people shop, work and communicate via the internet instead of face-to-face communication. Is it positive or negative?

#people #shop #work #internet #communication

With the advancement of technology,

people

nowadays rely more on the

Internet

to purchase items and work online

instead

of communicating face-to-face.

While

some

people

believe it has a positive impact on society, others argue that it will pose threats to the world. In my opinion, the innovation of the

Internet

has mixed effects.

Firstly

, it is convenient for

people

to accomplish work online, it can reduce the time that employees have to spend commuting to workplaces and

thus

improve their efficiency, contributing to better performance.

Moreover

, by doing things through the

Internet

, workers can distribute their time in a reasonable way which can maintain their mental and physical health.

Secondly

, the advantages of

people

buying products via the

Internet

include that there is no limited opening time for online shops;

therefore

, buyers can make purchases whenever they prefer.

In addition

, they can view the comments and rankings left by previous customers as a part of their consideration.

On the other hand

, working via the

Internet

can lead to negative effects. Problems

such

Internet

hacking, and unauthorised information leaking, can result in consequences that are beyond

people

's imagination.

Additionally

, working online enables individuals to be exposed to constant notifications and social media that can distract them considerably, slowing down their own pace of finishing tasks. Those who shop online, can't try on the items they buy on e-commerce websites, which sometimes gives rise to unsatisfied shopping experiences.

In addition

, they can influenced by online advertisements and make impulse purchases. In conclusion,

although

it is universally acknowledged that the development of technology has brought lots of benefits to the world, there are still some technological traps that

people

have to be aware

Change preposition

of.

show examples

Both positive and negative impacts have been introduced by technological innovation.

Submitted by n6160978224716 on Fri Nov 08 2024

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relevant specific examples

Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help illustrate your points more vividly and convincingly.

logical structure

Enhance the linkage between paragraphs. Although each paragraph presents clear ideas, ensuring smooth transitions can improve overall coherence.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well and summarizing the points effectively.

complete response

The essay covers both positive and negative aspects, providing a balanced view on the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas are generally expressed clearly and are comprehensible, addressing the task effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More people shop, work and communicate via the internet instead of face-to-face communication. Is it positive or negative?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries today are experiencing high levels of migration from rural areas to cities. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.