Some believe that the government should support artists like musicians, painters, and poets, while others argue that this is a misuse of funds. Consider both arguments and present your viewpoint. Explain your viewpoint with reasons and include appropriate examples based on your knowledge or experiences.

A vast number of humans consider that

artists

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as musicians, painters, and poets ought to be supported by governments.

Also

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

other

people

Use synonyms

think that it is unnecessary,

this

Linking Words

is a waste of money.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss two outstanding benefits that the

government

Use synonyms

supports famous personalities. On the one hand, others think that the

government

Use synonyms

ought to support the public of

people

Use synonyms

. There are two reasons why I agree a part with

this

Linking Words

opinion. The first can be that

artists

Use synonyms

bring the

culture

Use synonyms

of their country to the world. There are many singers who bring the

culture

Use synonyms

of Vietnam into their songs.

For instance

Linking Words

, Bac Bling of Hoa Minzy is the most popular music in Vietnamese

culture

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

song makes

people

Use synonyms

feel the

culture

Use synonyms

of the north. Another reason can be that

artists

Use synonyms

can inspire everyone, especially young

people

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, there are a lot of celebrities who help poor

people

Use synonyms

who are affected by storms the way as donating money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or investing in facilities.

This

Linking Words

is an inspiration for fans , and from there, they

also

Linking Words

helped.

On the other hand

Linking Words

in addition

Linking Words

to investing in

artists

Use synonyms

, the

Government

Use synonyms

should invest a lot in education and

health

Use synonyms

. Educational institutions create young talents for the country

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, children in special places , like in the mountains , lack adequate study conditions, facilities not unensure. They have not only a litter document, table, and chair, but

also

Linking Words

it has low quality. The

government

Use synonyms

should have a policy to decrease tuition, or free all costs for poor students.

Also

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

is one of the areas lacking serious facilities

such

Linking Words

as modern machinery

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

high quality doctors.

Health

Use synonyms

is the main field that helps take care of humans, so the

government

Use synonyms

might invest.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they need grow up of salary for doctors, and support for family of them. In conclusion, almost all humans argue that personal figures like musicians, painters, and poets need to be supported by governments.

Otherwise

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

thing is not important, and the

government

Use synonyms

should invest funds in other fields

such

Linking Words

as education

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and

health

Use synonyms

. They need a balance between two things.

nguyenthihathu22092003

Sep 29, 2025

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overall

Give a clear view in the start and end. Give balanced ideas with clear links.

structure

Make each paragraph about one idea. Start with a small line that shows what the paragraph talks about.

cohesion

Use easy linking words like also, but, however, for example, first, next, finally.

content

Stay on topic. Do not talk much about schools or doctors unless you link to art.

language

Check spelling and grammar. Small errors can hide meaning.

structure

The essay has a plan for intro, body and conclusion.

content

It shows how art can share country culture.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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