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Band 4.5

The line graph showes the number of immagrations to 3 different countries( USA, Canada, Ausralia) from 1991 to 2001

#line #showes #immagrations #countries #usa #canada #ausralia
The line chart illustrates how many
people
 migrated to three different countries, namely
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Canada
, and Australia between 1991 and 2001.
Overall
, the number of
people
 moving to the
USA
 and
Canada
 had an increasing trend
while
 that for Australia witnessed a considerable drop. Throughout the period, the
USA
 had the highest number of immigrants, which showed gradual growth. In 1991, Australia had by far the highest figure, in which about 2700
thousand
 dwellers from other countries lived.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed
show examples
 by that of the
USA
, at about 1100
thousand
people
, which was twice as many as the figure for
Canada
.
Thereafter
, there was a significant decrease in Australian immigrants during four years starting in 1991, reached a low of 500
thousand
people
 and
then
 remained stable.
In contrast
, the number of immigrants in
Canada
 witnessed a dramatic increase and reached a peak of about 2200
thousand
 in 1995, after which
this
 figure experienced a downward fluctuation to about 1500
thousand
 over a 6-year period.
Finally
, a gradual increase was seen in the data of the
USA
,
this
 reached 2500
thousand
people
 in 2000 and remained unchanged in the following year.
Submitted by n.thach.tu.a2 on

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accuracy
Ensure the data is interpreted accurately and consistently throughout the essay. Double-check the numbers and their representation to deliver clear and precise information.
conclusion
Work on presenting clear and distinctive concluding remarks to reinforce the key ideas presented.
introduction
The essay contains a clear introduction that effectively outlines what the data represents.
description
The main trends are well identified and described with comparative data analysis.
use of data
The use of specific data points to illustrate trends is effective, ensuring clarity in data representation.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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