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Writing Samples
Band 5

What are advantages and disadvantages of using social media?

#media
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There is
negative
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a negative
the negative
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 effect of using social
media
 or not? some
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 using that type of technology has some drawbacks. But the majority of
people
 believe the
advantages
hid
Wrong verb form
hide
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 the disadvantages. On the one hand, the
advantages
 of social
media
 can not counted because of the huge amount of benefits for that communication.
Firstly
, that makes the
people
 nearer to each other. When the person can communicate with someone in a different country with just a click, it is of course great benefit.
In addition
, that will help
people
 to save their time and money. They just can do their work from the home without need to go and come.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 some disadvantages.
The
Correct article usage
First
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first,
the huge number of information that
appers
Correct your spelling
appears
 every day makes
people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not trust
in
Change preposition
apply
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the news. The way of reaching the information become easier than before, so there are a lot of
people
 using
this
 in a bad way to achieve their personal desires.
Also
, using social
media
 for the majority of the day has a bad effect.
This
 use lets
people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not move and do some exercises which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 affect on
there
Replace the word
their
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 movement. In my opinion, the using of social
media
 has more
advantages
 than disadvantages. And I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
people
 decide how to make these
advantages
 work to help them. In conclusion,
although
 the drawbacks to using social
media
,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the
advantages
 of using it make the majority realise how it is helpful and makes
the
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apply
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life more easier and comfortable
Submitted by anasepic.9999 on

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task achievement
Consider using consistent tense throughout your essay to improve clarity.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of formal language to maintain a professional tone.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The advantages and disadvantages are both addressed, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay presents logical reasoning to support the opinions expressed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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