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Writing Samples
Band 6

the line graph shows the changes in share price of Outokupu companies in euros between 2006 and 2020. write a report for university lecturer describing the information below

the line graph shows the changes in share price of Outokupu companies in euros between 2006 and 2020. write a report for university lecturer describing the information below
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The line graph below provides information about the changes in
Use synonyms
stock
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the stock
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price
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 of Outokumpu
phylials
Correct your spelling
physicals
 in
euros
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 between 2006 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 the
ilustrated
Correct your spelling
illustrated
 data describes that Outokumpu companies'
share
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price
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was fluctating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 between 2006 and 2010.
Therefore
Linking Words
 its' peaked
share
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 was detected between 2007 and 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 the
comapanies'
Correct your spelling
companies'
stock
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Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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plummet
Wrong verb form
plummeted
show examples
 at the
and
Correct your spelling
end
show examples
 of 2008 years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in January 2006 Outokumpu's
share
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price
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 was around 15% and it continued increasing and reached its peak
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2007 years, with over 30 euro
share
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price
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 between 2007 and
2008
Add a comma
2008,
show examples
 the
stock
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price
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctating
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 around 25
euros
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 and at the start of
2008
Add a comma
2008,
show examples
 it reached its second
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 surge.
In addition
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start of
2009
Add a comma
2009,
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 Outokumpus companies faced
rapid
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a rapid
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 dip in
share
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price
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 to
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 10
euros
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. From 2009 to 2010 the
stock
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 amount of it was fluctating around 15
euros
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 and in the middle of
2010
Add a comma
2010,
show examples
 it had
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
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 rise to over 15
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
. As follows, it continued declining and in December 2010 the
compnies'
Change noun form
company's
show examples
share
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 was over 10
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
. On Balance, between 2007 and 2008 the company had higher income and at the
and
Correct your spelling
end
show examples
 of
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2010, companies
share
Use synonyms
price
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 was the same as
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start.
Submitted by ibragimmamedov2 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words stock, price, euros, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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