IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six- year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter •explain why you would like the job. •give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ. •say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.

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Dear Sir/Madam, With reference to your advertisement looking for someone for a six-year-old child's upbringing, I am interested in the job post. To commence with, after completing my bachelor's in nursing, I have been working as a babysitter for the past seven years in my home country, to foster my skills
further
Linking Words
, I want to work abroad, especially in a developed country like Australia.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I specialise in taking care of children in the absence of their guardians. I can teach arts, crafts, and gaming to children
along with
Linking Words
 developing their interpersonal skills. I have got several rewards because of my excellent services for daycare centres
due to
Linking Words
 which I am confident to secure the job.
In addition
Linking Words
, I will spend my leisure
while
Linking Words
 socialising with the Australian community, particularly at the assisted care facilities which will definitely foster my interpersonal and professional skills and help me to serve both the local and international society effectively. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Haris Khan

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Task Response
To improve your task response, ensure you're directly and fully addressing all aspects of the prompt. While you touched on why you'd like the job and your suitability, consider expanding on your experiences or specific skills to make your response more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your writing by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This will make your letter flow more smoothly and be easier to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve cohesion, try to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, clearly separated from the others. Use transitional phrases to smoothly move from one idea to the next, making your letter easier to read.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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