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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Recent technological advancements have made online dating popular. Consider both the positive and negative aspects of online dating and state your opinion on it using examples.

#advancements #aspects
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Nowadays, online dating has become attractive because of technological developments. I consider
this
 change to be negative because online dating
spend
Verb problem
creates
show examples
 many capacities and opportunities
meeting
Change preposition
for meeting
show examples
 directly
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
people
 relaxed and happy. On the one hand,
people
 who prefer online dating do not need to use transportation.
This
 movement allows them to spend their
time
 effectively.
For example
, many
people
 especially women use
time
 to prepare for dating. Sometimes the long
time
 makes the opponent frustrated.
However
, by introducing meetings on Zoom, the human do not have to wait for a long
time
.
Additionally
, at the far relation level, it costs a lot to meet each other, but online dating definitely saves their own money.
On the other hand
, there are many
people
 who want to meet and see each other directly. The
time
staying
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 with a boyfriend or a girlfriend provides them with relaxation and much happiness. A research paper showed hugs and kisses alleviate
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 mental strain. When they are meeting each other, they can touch their bodies many times.
In addition
, if one of them has a bad internet connection, they might be able to connect easily. Specifically, most apps that
people
 can interact with on social networks consume plenty of capacities.
As a result
, it is difficult to continue to connect online. In conclusion,
although
 online dating has benefits
such
 as saving money and
time
, I believe that there are many drawbacks to dating online
due to
 consuming many data capacities and making
people
 who want to meet directly despondent.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that you explore both positive and negative aspects evenly before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your examples to make your ideas more comprehensive and clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs have a clear introduction and conclusion; however, enhancing logical connectors between ideas would improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced the essay topic and provided a conclusion which summarizes your opinion clearly.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples which support the main points, such as the time and cost savings of online dating and the relaxation of in-person interactions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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