IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is often said that to become a successful business a tertiary education is not at all necessary. To what extent you agree or disagree. Give your opinion.

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It is often argued that completing a degree in
university
Use synonyms
 helps
people
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
whereas
Linking Words
 I think a tertiary education can be helpful in some ways.
First,
Linking Words
I think going to
university
Use synonyms
 can be
beneficail
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 in two ways. You can have a deeper knowledge about your field and you can
also
Linking Words
 make connections with
people
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 who can give you great opportunities.
Although
Linking Words
 having a tertiary education doesn't make
people
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 successful, in a few fields,
such
Linking Words
 as science, I believe studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
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 can
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
 be beneficial. Imagine if you want an experiment, having your own laboratory would cost a lot
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in your early twenties.
While
Linking Words
 you are studying, you can find out what you really like more specifically and make a clear vision of yourself
instead
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, I still believe that you can run a business successfully without any tertiary education degree. First of all, there are things that you can't learn through a
bachelor
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bachelor's
show examples
 or a
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree.
For example
Linking Words
, communication skills are important because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can give a good impression on customers, other companies, or buyers as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can already find many good examples in our lives. CEOs, like Steve Jobs,
who
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apply
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got expelled from universities or dropped their studies in order to follow their dreams.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe if you are passionate about something, there is always a way to learn those things. In conclusion, I don't think going to
university
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 to achieve your dream is not
nacessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 at all.
People
Use synonyms
 should not set a limit and should think they can learn everything everywhere.

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coherence-cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence-cohesion
Use more varied linkers and transitions to connect your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
task-achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence-cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task-achievement
You have provided relevant arguments for both sides of the issue, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence-cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with points developed systematically across paragraphs, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • valuable
  • knowledge
  • skills
  • entrepreneurial
  • practical experience
  • success
  • tertiary education
  • networking opportunities
  • access to resources
  • combination
  • ideal
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