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Band 7.5

the chart below shows the number of men and woman in further education in britian in three periods and whether they were studying full time or part time

the chart below shows the number of men and woman in further education in britian in three periods and whether they were studying full time or part time
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THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE
AMOUNT
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NUMBER
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 OF MALES AND FEMALES ENGAGED IN PART-TIME AND FULL-TIME
EDUCATION
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 IN THE GREAT BRITAIN ENCOMPASSING THE
YEARS
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 1970/71, 1980/81 AND 1990/91.
OVERALL
Linking Words
, THE PART-TIME LEARNING SURPASSED THE FULL-TIME TRAINING IN BOTH GENDERS THROUGHOUT THE GIVEN
YEARS
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. NOTICEABLY , FULL-TIME INSTRUCTIONS GRADUALLY INCREASED IN MALES AND FEMALES IN THE FOLLOWING
YEARS
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. BY THE END OF THE
YEARS
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, THE FEMALE COUNTERPART DOMINATED THE OTHER IN PART-TIME
EDUCATION
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. LOOKING AT THE GRAPH, IN 1970/71, THE WOMEN STOOD AT AROUND 700 AND MEN AT 1000 IN PART-TIME
EDUCATION
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.
FURTHERMORE
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, THE PART-TIME
EDUCATION
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 SLIGHTLY DECREASED TO 850 IN 1980/81 AND INCREASED TO 900 IN 1990/91.
WHEREAS
Linking Words
, THE FEMALES EMBARKED THEIR
EDUCATION
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 AND SURGED FROM 800 TO 110 IN 1980/81 TO 1990/91, RESPECTIVELY. IT IS CLEAR FROM THE FIGURE,
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, THE FULL-TIME ACADEMICS STARTED BELOW 200 IN BOTH IDENTITIES IN 1970/71, BEFORE RISING TO ABOVE 200 IN 1990/91. IN 1980/81, EITHER OF THE IDENTITY ROSE TO 150 MALES AND 200.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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