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Band 5.5

Caring for the children is probably the most important job in any society.Because of this,all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepare them to be good parents.To what extent do you agree of disagree?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
Looking after the offspring and fruitful parenting styles has become a topic of concern,as it is the contributing factor
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 upward mobility of the social ladder.
Therefore
,launching
awareness
programmes
such
 as courses would be a strict action, for
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 circumstances,and I totally agree with
this
 statement,
due to
 it lays a strong foundation to prevent anti-social elements among children,
as well as
 to instill good moral values in
future
Add an article
the future
a future
show examples
 generation.In
this
 essay body paragraphs will discuss how these
programmes
 would
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for the whole
society
 and provide a suitable conclusion as
outline
Add an article
an outline
the outline
show examples
. One of the primary factors of launching
awareness
programmes
 is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 would be a workable
soulution
Correct your spelling
solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 preventing anti-social elements, which youngsters might be the victims
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
In
this
 vicious
society
,a considerable number of students fall prey
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 different wrongdoings.
For example
,juvenile
deliquency
Correct your spelling
delinquency
,
vendalism
Correct your spelling
vandalism
,
drug
Correct word choice
and drug
show examples
 abuse have been experienced by young learners,because of the lack of good parenting.
In addition
, if
parents
 have a lack of
awareness
 about their responsibilities and duty as
parents
, could cause above abovementioned adverse effects.
Hence
, these
programmes
 might be a workable solution towards the development of young individuals.
Furthermore
,in the long run,
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
society
as well as
 the whole country would
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 prudent individuals.Having citizens, with sound education,and good moral values lays a strong foundation for a powerful workforce, which provides the country with a stable economy.For instance,if someone had an
acquisition rich
Add a hyphen
acquisition-rich
show examples
 environment with intelligent
parents
,precisely he would be able to achieve high academic performances; which is an immense courage for the whole nation.So, well-versed
parents
 are essential, since it has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a cumulative effect on the sustainable development of a country. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the presence of proper parenting methods, which could be provided by
awareness
programmes
, pave the way for both life upbringing of individuals
as well as
 the whole
society
.Looking ahead, it is important to raise
awareness
programmes
 in order to gain
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 leap forward in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Submitted by ranpuluk on

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your work to correct small errors in punctuation and spacing. For example, there should be spaces after commas and periods.
lexical resource
Try to avoid repeating the same phrases too frequently (e.g., "awareness programmes"). Instead, consider using synonyms or rephrasing to maintain variety.
introduction conclusion
You provided a clear introduction that outlines the main argument and approach of the essay.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed and reinforces the main argument.
cohesion
You used logical connectors well to guide the reader through your arguments, contributing to a coherent structure.
task achievement
You clearly addressed the task by discussing both the importance of parenting courses and providing arguments supporting this view.

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