Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #jobs #future

A lot of people think that the younger

generation

must pick the

dream

job

that they want. But for some they believe, that choosing a realistic

job

is more practical and way better for the future ahead.

First,

when the young

generation

pursue

Change the verb form

pursues

show examples

their

dream

job

, they will feel a lot happier and satisfied with their lives. Doing the things they love, will give freedom and impeccable feeling.

As a result

, they will have a good performance at work and not feel pressured to do their task, and they can finish the projects on time.

For example

, a friend of mine pursued his

dream

to be a programmer,

ever

Correct word choice

and ever

show examples

since he was a kid that was his ambition.

Hence

, he became one of the best

programmer

Change to a plural noun

programmers

show examples

ever known

Add the auxiliary verb

knew

have ever known

show examples

On the other hand

, for some

people

Add a comma

people,

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

suggested

to choose

Change the verb form

choosing

show examples

a career which gives a high salary which is more practical and

realisitc

Correct your spelling

realistic

. For

the

Correct your spelling

this

show examples

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, the cost of living now is way more expensive than before.

Besides

, surviving each day is the main priority for all of us.

However

, it can

give

Verb problem

cause

show examples

a lot of distress to the younger

generation

and their mental health will be affected. Which can lead to serious illnesses and feeling out of track in life. In conclusion, I believe that young people should prioritize their

dream

job

so they can perform well

, at

Correct word choice

and, at

show examples

the same time

enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoy

show examples

their lives

while

working.

Above all

, having

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

in the

job

that you are admiring, can give the best result for the younger

generation

Submitted by chesleykerserarellano on Sat Nov 09 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to elaborate more on the supporting points for each view to strengthen your argument. Providing additional examples can help clarify your statements.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay flows logically, using linking phrases more strategically could enhance coherence. Ensuring clearer transitions between contrasting ideas will help.

task achievement

The essay captures both sides of the argument effectively and concludes with a personal opinion, which is essential for this type of task.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are clearly articulated, laying a strong foundation and wrapping up the essay neatly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

job satisfaction
skill development
market demands
financial stability
career growth
job security
income level
fulfilling professional life
personal happiness
career counseling
job market trends
adaptability
work-life balance
health implications
job automation
redundancy
emerging technologies
stable employment
motivated
competent

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Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People should sometimes do things that they donot enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tuition fee. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone.What extend do you agree or disagree.

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

In the future people will not need to have schools, galleries, museums or libraries because everything from education to culture and entertainment will be available online. Do you agree or disagree?